Whose Line Is It Anyway? (TV Series)

Show No. 236 (2000)

Colin Mochrie: Self

Photos 

Quotes 

• Brad Sherwood : [in "Weird Newscasters"]  Hello, and welcome to the six o'clock news. I'm Chester Moist Muffins. Our top story tonight: Rumors are speculating that Madeleine Albright is actually a monkey. When asked to comment, she shimmied up a tree and flung poo at the press.

  [Drew laughs] 

  Brad Sherwood : And now, with the local news, here's Lionel Hot Biscuits.

  Colin Mochrie : [subtitles: "The world's most tactless man"]  Hi. There was a big accident, some people got decapitated, here are their names.

  [to Brad] 

  Colin Mochrie : You know what? That shirt really makes you look fat. I mean, the color's all wrong. I mean, who shot the drapes?

• Colin Mochrie : [in "Narrate", set at a barber shop]  He fit the description of the man I was looking for: 6'5''. 4'2'' naked. Well, when he was naked, he stood like this:

  [crouches] 

  Colin Mochrie : I was gonna go undercover. I was gonna TRY and look like I needed a haircut.

  [to Ryan] 

  Colin Mochrie : Hi, I'd like a little less off the top.

  Ryan Stiles : Why don't you sit down in the chair right over there.

  [to camera] 

  Ryan Stiles : Oh, I knew who he was. And I knew he wasn't here for a haircut. And even if he WAS, it wasn't gonna take long.

  [to Colin] 

  Ryan Stiles : Say, you look like you could use a shave as well.

  [mimes slicing at Colin's throat] 

  Colin Mochrie : [to camera]  As he cut my artery, I felt something was wrong. Lucky, using my telekinesis, I could make my blood clot and I could finish my job.

• Ryan Stiles : [in "Greatest Hits", about songs of the plumber]  You know, if you've got drains and pipes, you've probably had a plumber over at one time or not in your life. And we've assembled over six of the greatest songs...

  [Colin gives a derisive look to the camera and then flaps his lips in time with Ryan] 

  Ryan Stiles : that's right, six songs, on three CDs. I can SEE YOU out of the corner of my eye!

  [turns to Colin] 

  Colin Mochrie : I'm sorry, you just explain things too long.

  Ryan Stiles : ...Six songs, three CDs.

  Colin Mochrie : Was that so hard?

  Ryan Stiles : [angrily]  Go ahead!

• Colin Mochrie : [in "Greatest Hits", about songs of the plumber]  You know, we have more songs on here than you can possibly count!

  [pause] 

  Colin Mochrie : Well that's not true, but it sounded good, didn't it?

  Ryan Stiles : Well I said earlier there's only six, but you just kept on talking!

  [laughter from audience and Drew] 

  Colin Mochrie : [looks at Ryan]  What happened to you?