Jack O'Neill: Hammond is insisting SG: 1 needs a socio-political nerd to off-set our overwhelming coolness.
Teal'c: Have you considered Jonas Quinn?
Jack O'Neill: Now I know you've been practicing, but I still can't tell. Was that a joke?
Major Samantha Carter: Navigation?
Colonel Jack O'Neill: Check.
Major Samantha Carter: Oxygen, pressure, temperature control?
Colonel Jack O'Neill: All check.
Major Samantha Carter: Inertial Dampeners?
Colonel Jack O'Neill: Cool!... and check.
Major Samantha Carter: Engines?
Colonel Jack O'Neill: All Check. Phasers?
Major Samantha Carter: [smirking] Sorry sir.
Major General George Hammond: Colonel Chekov feels that, as a symbol to our joint efforts, a Russian officer should be assigned to join SG-1.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: Over my rotting corpse, sir.
Major General George Hammond: Colonel?
Colonel Jack O'Neill: I'm sorry. Did I say that out loud?
Major General George Hammond: I said I would discuss it with you and that I was sure you would give it some careful thought.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: And that I will, General, but I'm still pretty sure I'll say: "Bite Me".
Anubis: I am Anubis!
Major Samantha Carter: Looks like a hologram projection, sir.
Anubis: Humans of the Tau'ri, your end of days finally approaches. There will be no mercy.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: [to Carter] Oh, come on, who talks like that?
Major Samantha Carter: Sir, this is Asgard technology. He must have downloaded it from Thor
Anubis: You will bow to my awesome power. There is nothing that can stop the destruction I bring upon you. Prepare to meet your doom.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: Oh, please!
Jonas Quinn: [walking with Carter] Still, I'm usually much better at reading people.
Colonel Chekov: [walks up angrily] Major! Why was I not informed about the X-302?
Jonas Quinn: For example, it might not be that obvious to everyone, but this man is actually very upset.
Major Samantha Carter: What about you, sir? Any ideas? I mean sometimes you have a way of seeing things at... at their simplest.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: Thank you.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: [after a pause] I'm gonna go eat some cake.
Jack O'Neill: Hey, how come you're not downstairs with the rest of the eggheads? Not that you're an egghead. Well, you are actually. But in a good way.
Samantha Carter: I couldn't think down there. They all kept looking at me for the answer.
Jack O'Neill: Well you do have a penchant for pulling brilliant ideas out of your butt - head. Out of your head, when we need them.