Dr. McCoy : Jim, I think I liked him with a beard better. It gave him character. Of course almost any change would be a distinct improvement.
Captain James T. Kirk : What worries me is the easy way his counterpart fitted into that other universe. I always thought Spock was a bit of a pirate at heart.
Mr. Spock : Indeed, gentlemen. May I point out that I had an opportunity to observe your counterparts here quite closely. They were brutal, savage, unprincipled, uncivilized, treacherous - in every way splendid examples of homo sapiens, the very flower of humanity. I found them quite refreshing.
Captain James T. Kirk : [to McCoy] I'm not sure, but I think we've been insulted.
Dr. McCoy : I'm sure.
Mirror Spock : Captain, I am pleased that you frustrated Mr. Chekov's plan. I should regret your death.
Captain James T. Kirk : Why?
Mirror Spock : I do not desire the captaincy. I much prefer my scientific duties, and I am frankly content to be a lesser target.
Captain James T. Kirk : Logical, as always, Mr. Spock.
Captain James T. Kirk : [to the parallel Spock] I submit to you that your Empire is illogical because it cannot endure. I submit that YOU are illogical to be a willing part of it.
Captain James T. Kirk : You heard my orders.
Mirror Spock : They are, of course, in contradiction to standard Empire procedure. You cannot ignore the consequences.
Captain James T. Kirk : Is that a threat?
Mirror Spock : I do not threaten, Captain. I merely state facts. I have found you to be an excellent officer. Our missions together have been both successful and profitable; however, I shall not permit your aberrations to jeopardize my position.
Captain James T. Kirk : [impersonating the parallel Kirk] You're the captain's woman, until he says you're not.
Lt. Marlena Moreau : [handing over a report] Captain Kirk.
[in background, Uhura turns and, in surprise, recognizes the Lieutenant]
Captain James T. Kirk : Lieutenant... um... Lieutenant...?
Lt. Marlena Moreau : Marlena Moreau. I was just assigned last week.
Captain James T. Kirk : All right, Lieutenant. Carry on.
Mr. Spock : You've met her before, Captain?
Captain James T. Kirk : Uh, why do you ask?
Mr. Spock : Your reaction: one of... recognition?
Captain James T. Kirk : Oh, no. No, no. We haven't met before... exactly. She just seemed... a nice, likable girl. I think we could become friends. It's possible.
Mirror Kirk : Spock, you traitorous pig, I'll hang you up by your Vulcan ears!
Wilson : Mr. Chekov was going to make me a chief, sir. You could make me an officer.
Captain James T. Kirk : All right. You're working for me.
Wilson : A commission?
Captain James T. Kirk : You're in line. You might even make captain.
Wilson : Yes, sir!
[Kirk knocks Wilson to the ground]
Wilson : Ooo!
Captain James T. Kirk : Not on MY ship.
Mirror Spock : I shall not waste time with you. You're too inflexible, too disciplined once you're made up your mind, but Dr. McCoy has a plenitude of human weaknesses - sentimental, soft. You may not tell me what I want to know, but he will.
Captain James T. Kirk : You're running a big risk, Spock.
Mirror Spock : I have the phaser, Captain. And I do not intend to simply disappear as so many of your opponents have in the past.
Mirror Spock : I shall operate the transporter. You have two minutes and ten seconds.
Captain James T. Kirk : In that time, I have something to say. How long before the Halkan prediction of galactic revolt is realized?
Mirror Spock : Approximately two hundred and forty years.
Captain James T. Kirk : The inevitable outcome?
Mirror Spock : The Empire shall be overthrown, of course.
Captain James T. Kirk : The illogic of waste, Mr. Spock. A waste of lives, potential, resources, time. I submit to you that your Empire is illogical because it cannot endure. I submit that *you* are illogical to be a willing part of it.
Captain James T. Kirk : [narrating] Captain's log, stardate unknown. We are trapped in a savage parallel universe from which we must escape within four hours, or I will face a death sentence at Mr. Spock's hands.
Captain James T. Kirk : [flippantly] Are you going to shoot me now, Spock? I thought I had until dawn.