Natalie Hurley: So Thespis is the Roman god of theatre?
Jeremy Goodwin: That's exactly right. Except he's not Roman and he's not a god.
Natalie Hurley: What is he?
Jeremy Goodwin: He's Greek and he's a ghost.
Dana Whitaker: Who's Artemis?
Jeremy Goodwin: Artemis?
Dana Whitaker: Yes.
Jeremy Goodwin: Artemis is goddess of the moon, the hunt, chastity and fertility.
[everybody oohs and aahs]
Dana Whitaker: Your boy knows his mythology.
Natalie Hurley: Give him another one.
Dave: [counting back from commercial] 30 seconds.
Jeremy Goodwin: Goddess of wisdom, the arts, and war.
Casey McCall: Mercury.
Jeremy Goodwin: God of commerce, wrestling, gymnastics, thieving, good luck, sleep, wealth, and dreams.
Casey McCall: Wow.
Natalie Hurley: There's a god of thieving?
Casey McCall: There's a god of gymnastics?
Jeremy Goodwin: Yes, indeed.
Dan Rydell: I remember what you were wearing. Do you remember what I was wearing?
Casey McCall: I remember not thinking at the time that you were a woman.
Dan Rydell: You recited the St. Crispin's Day speech from the lobby of the St. Paul Radisson.
Casey McCall: Well, was it untoward?
Dan Rydell: No, it was just embarrassing.
Dan Rydell: [doing soccer highlights] Blake kicks the ball with high hopes that it will enter the goal, but it does not.
Elliott: Anybody know why there's a 20-pound frozen turkey up in the light grid?
Dan Rydell: Dana, Elliot wants to know why there's a 20-pound frozen turkey in the light grid.
Dana Whitaker: It's 24 pounds.
Dan Rydell: I'll tell him that, but then he'll just want to know why there's a 24-pound frozen turkey in the light grid.
[Dan leaves, Elliot comes in afterwards]
Elliott: Why is there a 24-pound frozen turkey up in the light grid?
Dana Whitaker: We are gonna get through the top half hour. I'm not gonna be beaten by a 6000-year-old Roman god!
Jeremy Goodwin: He's a 3000-year-old Greek ghost.
Dana Whitaker: Well I'm a 33-year-old producer and for one hour every night, this is my little corner of the world. And nothing screws up here unless I screw it up.
[shouting at the ceiling]
Dana Whitaker: You got that?
Dana Whitaker: Why is there still water dripping on this desk?
[Turkey falls on desk]
Dan Rydell: Say, Dana, this wouldn't happen to be your frozen turkey by any chance, now would it?
Isaac Jaffe: Did a big frozen turkey fall down on the anchor desk during the last commercial?
Casey McCall: Yes.
Isaac Jaffe: And why?
Casey McCall: Ah, Isaac, is there really an answer I can give to that question that'll satisfy you?
Dana Whitaker: I've named this Thanksgiving. I'm calling it "The Thanksgiving of Mom's Disapproval." Included on the 2-record set are the hit songs "Why Aren't You Married?" And "Sports Is No Place for an Educated Woman" and "Didn't Anyone Ever Tell You How to Cook a Turkey?"