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"South Park" Big Gay Al's Big Gay Boat Ride (TV Episode 1997) Poster

Quotes

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Stan Marsh: What's a homosexual?

Mr. Herbert Garrison: Well, Stanley, I guess you came to the right person. Sit down. Stanley, gay people, well, gay people are evil. Evil right down to their cold black hearts, which pump not blood like yours and mine, but rather a thick, vomitous oil that oozes through their rotten veins and clots in their pea-sized brains which becomes the cause of their Nazi-esque patterns of violent behavior. Do you understand?

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Football Commentator: Oh I haven't seen a Jew run like that since Poland, 1938.

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Jimbo: Jesus, now I haven't asked you for much, but all we need is one little score. Please? Please, Jesus?

Jesus: Leave me alone.

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[Stan's report on "Asian Culture."]

Stan: Asian culture has plagued our fragile earth for many years. We must end it.

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Cartman: Hey, speaking of pounding ass, here comes Stan's little homo dog.

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Cartman: That dog is a gay homosexual.

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Cartman: My mom says God hates gay people. That's why he smote the sodomies in France.

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Big Gay Al: Christians and Republicans and Nazis. Oh, my.

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Cartman: Stan, you need to lay off the cough syrup, all right, seriously. I'm worried about you man.

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Richard Stamos: [singing] Loving you is easy 'cause you're beautiful. Do, do, do, dooo...

[Off key]

Richard Stamos: Ah!

[Off key]

Richard Stamos: Ah!

Jimbo: What the hell? He didn't sing the high F.

Mr. Herbert Garrison: Richard Stamos can't sing a high F. He always screws it up like this.

Jimbo: Ned, we are gonna get our asses kicked!

Mr. Herbert Garrison: [Jeering] It's obvious where all the talent in that family went!

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Kyle Broflovski: [playing football] Cartman, you hike me the ball, then somebody run, and I'll throw it at something. Ready?

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Football Commentator: Oh, I've haven't seen an Englishman take a blow like that since Hugh Grant.

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Chef: You've got to hold the football like you would hold your lover. Gently, yet firmly. You wanna be both nurturing and clinging at the same time. Oh, yes. Just like making sweet love to the football. Be naughty with the football. Mmmm, spank it. Ever so gently. Spank it. Oh, uh, sorry, children.

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