Mulder : Mr. Simpson, we want you to recreate your every move the night you saw the alien.
Homer : The evening began at the gentlemen's club, where we were discussing Wittgenstein over a game of backgammon.
Scully : Mr. Simpson, it's a felony to lie to the FBI.
Homer : We were sitting in Barney's car eating packets of mustard. Happy?
Mulder : Look at this, Scully: there has been another unsubstantiated UFO sighting in the heartland of America. We've got to get there right away.
Scully : Well, gee Mulder, there's also this report of a shipment of drugs and illegal weapons coming into New Jersey tonight.
Mulder : I hardly think the FBI is concerned with matters like that.
Mulder : [after subjecting Homer to a physical and numerous medical tests, Scully has set him on a treadmill] Wait a minute, Scully. What's the point of this test?
Scully : No point. I just figured he could stand to lose some weight.
Mulder : [Seeing the movement of Homer's belly] His jigglin is almost hypnotic.
Scully : Yes. It's like a lava lamp.
Mulder : Are we alone in the universe? Impossible. When you consider the wonders that exist all around us... voodoo priests of Haiti, the Tibetan numerologists of Appalachia, the unsolved mysteries of Unsolved Mysteries... The truth is out there.