"The Simpsons" The Springfield Files (TV Episode 1997) Poster

(TV Series)


Gillian Anderson: Dana Scully



  • Scully : Now we're gonna run a few tests. This is a simple lie detector. I'll ask you a few yes or no questions and you just answer truthfully. Do you understand?

    Homer : Yes.

    [lie detector explodes] 

  • Mulder : Mr. Simpson, we want you to recreate your every move the night you saw the alien.

    Homer : The evening began at the gentlemen's club, where we were discussing Wittgenstein over a game of backgammon.

    Scully : Mr. Simpson, it's a felony to lie to the FBI.

    Homer : We were sitting in Barney's car eating packets of mustard. Happy?

  • Mulder : Look at this, Scully: there has been another unsubstantiated UFO sighting in the heartland of America. We've got to get there right away.

    Scully : Well, gee Mulder, there's also this report of a shipment of drugs and illegal weapons coming into New Jersey tonight.

    Mulder : I hardly think the FBI is concerned with matters like that.

  • Mulder : [after subjecting Homer to a physical and numerous medical tests, Scully has set him on a treadmill]  Wait a minute, Scully. What's the point of this test?

    Scully : No point. I just figured he could stand to lose some weight.

    Mulder : [Seeing the movement of Homer's belly]  His jigglin is almost hypnotic.

    Scully : Yes. It's like a lava lamp.

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