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"The Simpsons" The City of New York vs. Homer Simpson (TV Episode 1997) Poster

Quotes

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Homer Simpson: [drunk] Goodnight, Barney. Don't forget to bring back my car back tomorrow. Just slide it under the door.

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Homer: That's it. I'm getting out of this town alive if it kills me.

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Khlav Kalesh Guy: Fresh Khlav kalash! Get your khlav kalash!

Homer Simpson: Hey, uh, could you go across the street and get me a slice of pizza?

Khlav Kalesh Guy: No pizza, only khlav kalash.

Homer Simpson: Aw, shoot... Oh, all right, all right, gimme one bowl.

Khlav Kalesh Guy: [whips out something reddish on a stick] No bowl, stick, stick.

Homer Simpson: [Homer buys one, tries it] Oh, geez! That's just awful.

[finishes it]

Homer Simpson: Now, what do you have to wash that awful taste out of my mouth?

Khlav Kalesh Guy: Mountain Dew or Crab Juice.

Homer Simpson: Blecch! Ew! Sheesh! I'll take a crab juice.

[Homer drinks the can of crab juice, then several more]

Homer Simpson: [burps] Uh-oh. Uh, you got a men's room in there?

Khlav Kalesh Guy: [disturbed] Only khlav kalash. Men's room in tower. Tower! Observation deck!

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Wealthy Dowager: [after getting pushed by Homer on his way to the men's room] How frightfully rude! I do hope someone stabs him in the eye.

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Homer: All right, New York. I'm coming back. But you're not gonna get this!

[Homer throws his wallet into the lit fireplace]

Lisa: Dad, our baby pictures are in there.

Homer: Don't you start!

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Homer Simpson: Hey, eveybody, I'm Peter Pantsless!

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Lisa Simpson: [Upon seeing dead rabbits hanging in a store window] Mom, are those rabbits dead?

Marge: No, they're just, uh, sleeping. Upside down. And... inside out.

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Homer: They expect me to wait here from 9 to 5? That's... how many hours?

[looks at watch; counts fingers]

Homer: 10, 11... denominator... Awww where's Lisa when ya need her?

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Marge: Homer, I don't want you driving around in a car you built yourself.

Homer: You can sit there complaining, or you can knit me some seat belts.

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[Homer, Lenny, and Carl are drunk]

Lenny: Hey, let's go to the girl's college.

Carl: No, the Playboy Mansion. Playboy Mansion.

Homer Simpson: Shut up. It's my car and I say we're going to the lost city of gold.

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Bart Simpson: [after witnessing the craziness at the MAD Magazine offices] Wow! I will never wash these eyes again!

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Marge: You know, when I was a little girl, I always dreamed of being in a Broadway audience!

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Lenny: Hey, let's go to the girls college!

Carl: No! Playboy Mansion, Playboy Mansion!

Homer Simpson: It's my car, and I say we're going to the Lost City of Gold!

Barney Gumble: [angry] Oh, that's just drunk talk!

[dreamy]

Barney Gumble: Sweet, beautiful drunk talk...

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Bart Simpson: When I grow up, I wanna be in the Betty Ford Center.

Marge Simpson: You'd better start saving now, it's very expensive.

Lisa Simpson: Shh! They're strapping down Liza Minelli.

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Homer: [after Barney has been missing for two months] Barney, where have you been?

Barney: All I can remember about the last two months, is giving a guest lecture at Villanova. Or maybe it was a street corner.

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Marge Simpson: Wow! I feel like such a nobody.

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Lisa: [During the musical] Ssshh! They're strapping down Liza Minnelli!

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Barney Gumble: [draws a black pickled egg, meaning he's the designated driver] NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Homer Simpson: He got the black one!

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HomerLennyCarl: [drunk and singing] Dada dada dada dada dada, Macarena. HEY MACARENA!

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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