Milhouse Van Houten: I hate these flood pants.
[opens door and water comes in up to his ankles]
Milhouse Van Houten: Hey, they're working! My feet are soaked, but my cuffs are bone dry! Everything's comin' up Milhouse!
Homer: Alright, let's see. Ew, English side ruined. Must use French instructions. Le Grill? What the hell is that?
Astrid Weller: Your husband's work is what we call "outsider art." It could be by a mental patient, a hillbilly or a chimpanzee.
Homer: In high school I was voted most likely to *be* a mental patient, hillbilly or chimpanzee.
Homer: Astrid said the key to my art is anger, but you know me, I'm Mr. Mellow...
[Bart and Lisa look at each other]
Homer: ...so I'm giving you kids permission to get me mad. Come on, give me what you've got.
Lisa Simpson: Well, if it'll help... um, mom found out her engagement ring is made of rock candy.
Homer: [hits clay mold] Good work honey, keep it comin.'
Bart Simpson: Well I'm flunking math, and the other day I was a little attracted to Milhouse.
[Homer screams hysterically]
Homer: How about it Bart, would you like a new backyard BBQ pit?
Bart: Can I burn evidence in it?
Homer: We can *all* burn evidence in it.
Homer: English side ruined, must use French side... LE GRILLE? what the hell is that?
Homer: [lying in a hammock, sings] You put the beer in the coconut and drink it all up, you put the beer in the coconut and throw the can away.
[the can hits Flanders on the head]
Ned Flanders: Homer.
Homer: [sings] You throw the can away.
[Another can hits Ned]
Ned Flanders: I said, Homer.
Marge Simpson: Homie, I'm really happy you sold your sculpture, but don't you think it may have been a fluke?
Homer: Hey, I've always had an interest in art, dating back to my schoolgirl days when I pained portrait after portrait of Ringo Starr.
Marge Simpson: That's my life you're describing!
Homer: I think I remember my own life, Marge.
Homer: Why? Why must life be so hard? Why must I fail at every attempt at masonry?
[Homer floods the town as an art project]
Bart Simpson: Are you sure this is art, not vandalism?
Homer: That's for the courts to decide, son.