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- Marge Simpson: Now, Lisa, listen to me. This is important. I want you to smile today.
- Lisa: But I don't feel like smiling.
- Marge Simpson: Well, it doesn't matter how you feel inside, you know. It's what shows up on the outside that counts. Take all your bad feelings and push them down, all the way down past your knees, until you're almost walking on them. And then you'll fit in, and you'll be invited to parties, and boys will like you. And happiness will follow.
- Marge Simpson: Lisa, I apologize to you, I was wrong! I take it all back. Always be yourself. If you want to be sad, honey, be sad. We'll ride it out with you. And when you get finished feeling sad, we'll still be there. From now on, let me do the smiling for both of us.
- Lisa: [smiles] Okay, Mom.
- Marge Simpson: I said you could stop smiling, Lisa.
- Lisa: I *feel* like smiling.
- [They embrace]
- Bleedin' Gums Murphy: The blues isn't about feeling better. It's about making other people feel WORSE, and making a few bucks while you're at it.
- Lisa: I'm wailing out for the homeless family living out of its car. The Iowa farmer, whose land has been taken away by unfeeling bureaucrats. The West Virginia coal miner, coughing...
- Mr. Largo: Well, that's all fine and good, but Lisa, none of those unpleasant people are going to be at the recital next week.
- Marge Simpson: Now, Lisa, listen to me. This is important. I want you to smile today.
- Lisa: But I don't feel like smiling.
- Marge Simpson: Well, it doesn't matter how you feel inside, you know. It's what shows up on the outside that counts. Take all your bad feelings and push them down, all the way down past your knees, until you're almost walking on them. And then you'll fit in, and you'll be invited to parties, and boys will like you. And happiness will follow.
- Bart Simpson: I didn't do it. No one saw me do it. There's no way they can prove anything.
- Marge Simpson: Bart, this note isn't about you.
- Bart Simpson: It isn't? There must be some mistake.
- Marge Simpson: Lisa, get away from that jazzman!
- Lisa: But mom, can't I stay a little longer?
- Marge Simpson: Come on, come on; we were worried about you.
- [to Bleeding Gums Murphy]
- Marge Simpson: Nothing personal, I just fear the unfamiliar.
- Bart Simpson: Is Jacques there?
- Moe Szyslak: Who?
- Bart Simpson: Jacques, last name Strap.
- Moe Szyslak: Ah,hold on. Ah, Jacques Strap! Hey guys, I'm looking for a Jacques Strap!
- Bleedin' Gums Murphy: My friends call me Bleeding Gums.
- Lisa: Eww, how'd you get a name like that?
- Bleedin' Gums Murphy: Well, let me put it this way. You ever been to the dentist?
- Lisa: Yeah.
- Bleedin' Gums Murphy: Not me. I suppose I should go to one. But I've got enough pain in my life as it is.
- Marge Simpson: I'm sorry, everybody, but I only got two cupcakes for the three of you.
- Bart Simpson: Well, mom, one of us have scarfed down more than enough cupcakes for the passed three decades to keep -
- [interrupted by Homer]
- Homer: Bart!
- Bart Simpson: And in the lavender trunks, with a record of zero wins and 48 defeats, oh, correction, humiliating defeats, all of them by knockout...
- Homer: Must you do this every time?
- Bart Simpson: Homer "The Human Punching Bag" Simpson.
- Homer: Bart "The Bloody Pulp" Simpson is on the ropes. He is hoping I'll put him out of his misery. Well, your in luck, Bart. Here comes my right!
- [Marge pulls the plug on the TV]
- Homer: Oh no! My game! My game! I could have beat the boy! Marge, how could you? I was so close.
- Marge Simpson: I'm sorry, but this is more important than that silly loud game.
- Bart Simpson: You're right, Mom. I'd just like to use this occasion to announce my retirement, undefeated, from the world of video boxing.