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"The Simpsons" Homer's Phobia (TV Episode 1997) Poster

(TV Series)

(1997)

Quotes

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Homer: I like my beer cold, my TV loud, and my homosexuals fa-laaaaming.

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Marge: [about a gay man] Homer, he prefers the company of men.

Homer: Who doesn't?

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Bart Simpson: Something abut a bunch of guys alone together in the woods... seems kinda gay.

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[Homer is worried that Bart will turns out gay]

Moe: Come on, don't take this so hard, Homer. You still got that other kid, uh... Lisa. Let's, uh, take her out hunting tomorrow; make her into a man.

Homer: Aw, she'd never go. She's a vegetarian.

Moe: Oh, geez! Homer, geez! You and Marge ain't cousins, are you?

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Roscoe: [to workers] Hey! Listen up! I want all of youse to say hello to the Simpsons.

Workers: [waving in a cliche, sissy-like attitude] Hello-o.

Homer: [gasps] Has the whole world gone insane?

Steel Mill Worker #1: [sissy-like] Stand still, there's a spark in you hair!

Steel Mill Worker #2: Get it, get it!

Homer: [whimpers as another guy walks past Homer holding a vat of hot steel in hot pants]

Steel Mill Worker #3: Hot stuff, comin' through!

Homer: [screams]

Bart Simpson: Dad, why'd you take me to a gay steel mill?

Homer: [frightened] I don't know! This is a NIGHTMARE! YOU'RE ALL SICK!

Steel Mill Worker #4: [waving his hand] Oh be nice!

Homer: Oh! My son doesn't stand a chance! The whole world's gone gay!

[a whistle goes off]

Homer: Oh my god! What's happening now?

Roscoe: We work hard, we play hard.

[pulls a chain, "Everybody Dance Now" starts playing as the mill turns into a gay nightclub]

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[hiding underneath a trough]

Barney: Is it okay to come out now, Mr. Gay Man, sir?

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Homer: There's only two kinds of guys who wear Hawaiian shirts: gay guys and big fat party animals. And Bart doesn't look like a big fat party animal to me!

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[to Bart]

Homer: He didn't give you gay, did he? Did he?

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Homer: You know Bart, maybe it's just the concussion talking, but anyway you chose to live your life is OK.

Bart: Huh?

Lisa: He thinks you're gay.

Bart: He thinks I'm gay?

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John: Homer, I won your respect, and all I had to do was save your life. Now, if every gay man could just do the same, you'd be set.

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Homer: OhmyGod! OhmyGod! OhmyGod! OhmyGod! I danced with a gay! Marge, Lisa, promise me you won't tell anyone. Promise me!

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Homer: ...And the whole steel mill was gay.

Moe: Jeez, where ya been, Homer? The whole steel *industry's* gay.

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[Robo-Santa chases the reindeer away]

Homer: It's a miracle!

John: No, Ultrasuede is a miracle. This is just good timing.

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[Homer places Bart in front of a sexy billboard]

Homer: Well, it's been two hours. How do you feel?

Bart: I dunno. I kinda want a cigarette.

Homer: That's good. Let's get you a pack. What's your brand?

Bart: Anything slim.

Homer: D'oh!

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Marge: Homer, look! It's a TV Guide owned by Jackie O!

John: You should see the crossword puzzle! She thought Mindy lived with "Mark."

Homer: Give her a break! Her husband was killed!

John: Oh, I know! Wasn't that awful? Hi, I'm John! Can I help you with anything?

Marge: Yes, I have something that I'd like to sell.

John: Please tell me it's your hair.

Marge: No, it's an heirloom my grandmother passed down to me. A very rare, old figurine from the Civil War.

Lisa: Please don't construe our ownership of this as an endorsement of slavery.

John: Hmm, well see, here's the thing on this. It's a Johnny Reb bottle, early 1970s, one of the J & R Liquor lads. Two books of green stamps, if I'm not mistaken.

Marge: Oh, no! Oh no! No, no, no, no! It's a very, very old figurine!

John: No, it's a liquor bottle. See?

[Unscrews the cap and pours himself a drink]

John: Ah, that'll make your bull run!

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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