- Principal Skinner: Order! Order! Do you kids wanna be like the real U.N., or do you just wanna squabble and waste time?
- [last lines]
- Narrator: So the children learned how to function as a society, and eventually they were rescued by, oh, let's say... Moe.
- Marge Simpson: What exactly is it your company does again?
- Homer Simpson: This industry moves so fast it's really hard to tell. That's why I need a name that's cutting-edge, like CutCo, EdgeCom, Interslice. Come on, Marge, you're good at these! Help me out!
- Marge Simpson: How about... Compuglobalhypermeganet?
- Homer Simpson: Fine, it's not important. What really matters is my title. I think I'll make myself... vice president. No, wait! Junior vice president!
- Principal Skinner: Okay, kids. Otto's in charge! Remember, Otto. We're trusting you with our greatest natural resource... the school bus.
- Homer Simpson: Welcome to the internet, my friend, how can I help you?
- Comic Book Guy: I'm interested in upgrading my 28.8 kilobaud internet connection to a 1.5 megabit fiber optic T1 line. Will you be able to provide an IP router that's compatible with my token ring ethernet LAN configuration?
- Homer Simpson: [stares blankly for a few seconds] Can I have some money now?
- Bart Simpson: And every night the monkey butlers will regale us with jungle stories.
- Nelson: How many monkey butlers will there be?
- Bart Simpson: One at first, but he'll train others.
- Homer Simpson: [reading an envelope in his mailbox] "Flancrest Enterprizses"?
- Ned Flanders: Oops. That's for me. Flancrest Enterprises is my home business,
- Homer Simpson: You liar! You don't have a home business! Why would you make up a lie like that?
- Ned Flanders: No, it's true. Maude and I sell religious hook rugs over the internet.
- Homer Simpson: Internet, eh?
- Ned Flanders: Yes, indeedy. Making some good scratch too.
- Homer Simpson: Scratch, eh?
- Ned Flanders: Yep.
- Homer Simpson: Maude, eh?
- Homer Simpson: [on the phone] Uh, can't make it in today, Mr. Smithers. I have smallpox. Well, it wasn't wiped out in my house!
- Principal Skinner: Okay, delegates, you leave tomorrow for the statewide Model U.N., so this is our last chance to bone up. And bone we will!
- [all the kids, except Lisa, laugh]
- Bart Simpson: Lighten up, Lise.
- Principal Skinner: Finland, let's see that native dance.
- [Martin gets up and begins dancing]
- Principal Skinner: Smile more. Work that pelvis. No, too much smile. Sit down.
- [Martin sits down]
- Principal Skinner: Poland, tell us about your nation's achievements
- Milhouse Van Houten: Well, uh, I heard they sent a rocket to the sun once... at night! And there was that submarine, with the screen doors...
- Principal Skinner: No, no, no, no, no. Young man, you need to do some serious boning!
- [only Lisa laughs]
- Bart Simpson: Oh, grow up, Lise.
- Chief Wiggum: Good luck, Ralphy. If your nose starts bleeding, it means you're picking it too much. Or not enough.
- [Homer is collecting the mail]
- Homer Simpson: Water bill, third notice. Jury duty, third notice. Mortgage bill. Ooh! Second notice.
- [drops the envelope down the storm drain]
- [At the model UN club, Nelson is shoving chopsticks up Wendell's nose]
- Wendell: Ow! I can't breathe!
- [to Skinner]
- Wendell: Please stop him!
- Principal Skinner: I'd like to, but I'm afraid he has diplomatic immunity.
- Lisa: Point of order. If we want to learn anything, we must respect...
- Bart Simpson: [interrupting Lisa] Point of odor. Lisa stinks.
- Sherri: [to Bart] Leave her alone!
- Nelson: [to Sherri] No. *You* leave her alone.
- [all the kids start fighting each other]
- Principal Skinner: [banging his shoe on a table] Order! Order! Do you kids wanna be like the *real* U.N.? Or do you just wanna squabble and waste time?