Darlene Conner-Healy: I need to walk down the aisle, are you ready to give me away?
Dan Conner: No I'm not.
Roseanne Conner: You know, Darlene, there are going to be times when you're sitting across from David wondering 'why the hell did I marry this man?', and then it'll snow and he'll put chains on your tires, and then you'll remember why.
Darlene Conner-Healy: [laughs] No, David's not allowed anywhere near my car.
Roseanne Conner: Already talking like a wife, I'm proud of you.
Darlene Conner-Healy: Yeah, and soon I'm gonna start sounding like a mom.
Darlene Conner-Healy: 'Eating salads, just sitting around with the girls talking about sore nipples and waiting for the Prozac to kick in'.
Roseanne Conner: [putting flowers in Darlene's hair] Just enough to make you smell good but not enough to attract the bees.
Beverly Harris: When I wore that wedding dress, I had to take it in 10 inches.
Nana Mary: Yeah, around the boobs.
Beverly Harris: Why did it have to be an outdoor hippie wedding?
Dan Conner: Because the moon's in the 7th house?
Dan Conner: Everybody always thinks there's plenty of time, believe me, there isn't.
Scott: If I'd known we'd be sitting on these hard wooden benches, I would not have worn this thong.
Darlene Conner-Healy: David and I aren't going to miss out on anything, we're still young enough that we have plenty of time to...
Dan Conner: Oh no you don't, believe me, that's what your mom and I thought too.