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Very little Quincy--a lot of Shrek!!!
MartinHafer12 May 2013
"No Way to Treat a Patient" is a highly unusual episode of "Quincy", as Quince is barely in the show at all. My assumption is that Jack Klugman was either on vacation or wanted some breathing space due to his weekly grind and the writers arranged for less of him in the show.

It begins with something very weird. You see couple paramedics tossing a body away!! What gives?! Well, later you learn that the pair are actually assassins and this body was just one of their dirty deeds. In the meantime, most of the show centers on a hospital annex run by an old acquaintance of Quincy, Dr. Carbo (A Martinez--who was already in another episode, though playing a different character). When one of the people shot by the assassins SURVIVES and crawls his way to the clinic, the doctor treats him and sends him on to the main hospital--but the guy arrives dead and folks think the doctor screwed up. However, guess who transported the guy to the main hospital? Yup, these same 'paramedics'!

There were two bad things about this episode. A minor one is that Dr. Quincy turns on his friend too quickly--jumping to the conclusion that Dr. Carbo screwed up even though he knows the man is competent. Considering how often Quincy goes out on a limb for friends, this is odd. However, the big problem with the show was that the show's conclusion sucked. The solution to the problem was too fast and instead of showing any investigation, they just announce EVERYTHING was magically solved!! It was really annoying, that's for sure.

There was also one wonderful thing about the episode--Nurse Russell. She was a funny character and it was also wonderful to hear her as she sounded exactly like Shrek!!! Very funny, that's for sure!
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Just an observation about this episode
David_Habert8 February 2016
Warning: Spoilers
I don't know if anyone will agree with me with this.

It seems that Dr Quincy really did MEET HIS MATCH with Nurse Russell, especially with some of the sarcastic comments she was coming out with during this episode towards him.

What a great married couple these two would have made. Just imagine the comedy if she was his assistant instead of Sam (this could have become the second Odd Couple).

As for Nurse Nancy Berger, WOW. If every nurse looked like that, I don't think anyone would be in too greater hurry to recover from any injury, would you.

I would however feel sorry for anyone having Nurse Russell looking after you, my advise in this case recover very quickly, so you can get away from this Dragon Lady.

Not one of the best episodes from the series though, but certainly one of the funniest.
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No mystery, but very entertaining with good guest stars
rayoflite244 November 2015
No Way to Treat a Patient begins with paramedics dumping a body in a remote area. As it turns out, they are hit men using the ambulance and uniforms as a cover. When one of the hit men begins to waver, they see him as a potential liability that could talk to the police and decide to kill him as well. They wound him during a confrontation, and he stumbles into a clinic on the Sunset Strip which is run by Dr. Tony Carbo (A Martinez). Dr. Carbo treats the wound and sends him off to the hospital for surgery, but the hit men show up anticipating the need for an ambulance transport and take him to finish the job. The next day Quincy (Jack Klugman) conducts the autopsy and cannot fathom how Dr. Carbo who he has previously worked with would miss the second bullet wound in the victim's head, but Dr. Carbo maintains that it was not there which prompts an investigation.

Although a little offbeat and different from the norm, I found this to be a pretty good episode. There isn't much of a mystery as we see who is responsible for the deaths right at the beginning, but a good balance of crime, comedy and very likable guest stars made this one interesting and entertaining for me. We see A Martinez and Duncan Gamble return in guest starring roles and Quincy acknowledges his and Dr. Carbo's previous meeting in a prior episode, but for some reason the character name is different from last time (Marty Hererra). I'm not sure if this was a goof or there was a specific reason for changing the name when clearly it is supposed to be the same character, but either way it is nice to see him back. The comic relief provided Diana Webster as the strict Nurse Russell who keeps the clinic running efficiently is fantastic and will surely amuse you. I wish she had been brought back to the series as well!

My main criticisms of this episode is that it lacked the mystery element and we mainly see Quincy in the beginning scenes and then in scenes towards the end, but there is a big chunk in the middle where he is noticeably absent and the story focuses primarily on the clinic employees and the criminals. This can be forgiven, though, as the others manage to keep the story moving and were fun to watch.

Overall this is a very entertaining and interesting Quincy Season 5 finale episode which I highly recommend viewing. It is nice to see Season 5 wrap up on such a positive note!
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Good episode let down by a terrible ending.
Paul Andrews3 July 2008
Warning: Spoilers
Quincy M.E.: No Way to Treat a Patient starts as Los Angeles coroner Quincy (Jack Klugman) meets up with his old friend Tony Carbo (A Martinez) who is working at the Sunset Memorial Hospital. While working the late shift a man stumbles in with a gunshot wound to his lower back, Dr. Carbo treats him & sends him off to a bigger better equipped Hospital for an operation. However by the time the man gets there he is dead & suddenly has another bullet wound in his back, the man ends up on Quincy's autopsy table & he can't believe the medical records written by Carbo only list one bullet wound. Not the most popular doctor Carbo is accused of negligence & not noticing the second gunshot wound...

Episode 22 from season 5 this Quincy story was the final one from the fifth season & it was great until the last few minutes. For the majority of No Way to Treat a Patient there's a pretty good murder mystery & one of Quincy's friends is accused of incompetence so there's a couple of nice plot threads running through the episode but just as it starts to get good & the episode starts to get going we cut to Danny's bar at the end & Quincy merely says the killers were caught & Carbo was cleared. There's no investigation, there's no real detective work & the ending is just very unsatisfying all round as if the production team knew they were running out of time & just had to resolve the episode as quickly as possible. I liked the story about two assassins posing as ambulance drivers too, it's a shame that more couldn't be made of it. There's some funny scenes here, the authoritarian Nurse Miss Russell is played almost entire for laughs & she has a thick Scottish accent & at times sounds like Edward Woodward from The Wicker Man (1973)! Her & Quincy's arguing at the start is pure gold. You know I have always been surprised that more character's don't return to Quincy but here in No Way to Treat a Patient I think one does, or then again maybe he doesn't. You see Quincy & Dr. Carbo recognise each other & even mention the University, Dr. Carbo is played by A Martinez who starred in the Quincy two parter Walk Softly Through the Night (1979) from season four in which he played a student studying to become a doctor in University but in those two episodes his character's name was Marty Herrera so why the change of name? Is he meant to be the same character or not? If not why did Quincy recognise him & why is it made clear that they knew each other? Strange.

In this episode we get some good location footage of Sunset Strip with it's bright neon signs (one clearly advertising 'Filthy Magazines'!), prostitutes, pimps & a strip club called The Purple Peacock! A real document of the time, I doubt it's like that anymore. The acting is alright, oddly Quincy isn't in this one that much as there's a large twenty odd minute gap during the middle where he doesn't appear at all.

No Way to Treat a Patient had potential & was going really well until one of the most abrupt endings ever, it's still worth a watch but you will feel that a large chunk of it is missing.
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Just a comment
Kate Jukes25 August 2008
I pretty much agree with the first poster. Good episode, horrible ending. I just need to comment on the "Filthy Magazines" comment. What it actually showed was "Filthy McNasty's" which was a club on the strip. It IS a fun "blast from my past," looking at the old strip. MMMMmmmm...Scandia!

A Martinez is at the height of his "hunkiness" in this episode. He's totally yummy. The funny Scottish nurse who gives Quincy a hard time at the clinic is a hoot. Lots of adorable young women (A Martinez is a magnet!LOL). AND lots of guys with feathered 70's hair and porn mustaches. I'm old enough that I think they look hot!LOL
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