As usual, objectivity falls to me... Think: you don't really want me there, do you? I'd have to be chemically dependent just to show up. I'll be drunk, I'll be bored, not to mention better looking than the brides. I'll offend all the dykes. I'll heckle the ceremony. Table dance at the reception, and inevitably fuck every good looking guy - gay, straight or undecided - in the place. Finally, I'll pass out naked, bitching about the cheap booze. You'll lose your dignity, friends and shirts paying ...