Phyllis: [the employees are listing what books they would like to read on a desert island] "The Da Vinci Code."
Angela: "The Da Vinci Code." I would take "The Da Vinci Code," so I could burn "The Da Vinci Code."
Dwight Schrute: Okay, great. That's gonna keep you warm for, like, seven seconds.
Jim Halpert: [leading games during a fire drill] All right, let's move on. Let's move on to the main event, "Who would you do?"
Kevin: Present company excluded?
Jim Halpert: Not necessarily.
[cut to look of shock on Pam's face]
Jim Halpert: Um... Okay. You know what? Maybe I'll finish explaining the rules. Let me explain it first and then...
Michael Scott: [the members of the office are playing a game of "Who would you do?"] Roy? Who would you do, Roy?
Roy: Oh, I got it. What's the name of that tight-ass Christian chick? The blonde?
Angela: [angrily] My name is Angela.
Roy: [without shame] Hey, Angela.
[gesturing to himself]
Roy: Roy, nice to meet you.
Michael Scott: All right, who's next? Who's next? Who's next? Who's... Jim? You're next. Who would you do?
Jim Halpert: [There is an awkward pause] Um, Kevin, hands down.
[the group begins to laugh]
Jim Halpert: Yeah, I mean, he's really got that teddy bear thing going on and afterwards we could just watch bowling.
Michael Scott: Well, I would definitely have sex with Ryan,
[the group stops laughing and Ryan makes an uncomfortable expression]
Michael Scott: 'cause he's gonna own his own business.
Roy: [the camera pans to Roy who is the only one left laughing] You're all gay.
Dwight Schrute: Question: is there firewood on the island?
Jim Halpert: I guess.
Dwight Schrute: Then I would bring an ax, no books.
Jim Halpert: No, it has to be a book, Dwight.
Dwight Schrute: Fine. "Physician's Desk Reference."
Jim Halpert: Nice. Smart.
Dwight Schrute: Hollowed out. Inside, waterproof matches, iodine tablets, beet seeds, protein bars, NASA blanket, and, in case I get bored, "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone." No, "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban." Question: did my shoes come off in the plane crash?
Dwight Schrute: [to the tune of "We Didn't Start The Fire"] Joe McCarthy, Richard Nixon, Studebaker, television, North Korea, South Korea, Marilyn Monroe! Ryan started the fire!
Michael Scott: Yes, I was the first one out. And, yes, I've heard women and children first. But, we do not employ children. We are not a sweat shop. Thankfully. And, uh, women are equal in the workplace by law. So, I let them out first, I have a lawsuit on my hands.