NewsRadio (TV Series)

Stupid Holiday Charity Talent Show (1997)

David Foley: Dave Nelson

Quotes 

• Joe Garrelli : [hands Dave a plank]  Dude, hold this.

  [Dave takes the plank] 

  Lisa Miller : What is this, like judo?

  Joe Garrelli : No, judo is for sissies. This is pure Garrelli.

  [Joe hits the plank; it doesn't break] 

  Dave Nelson : Wanna try it again?

  Joe Garrelli : Nope, that's it.

  Lisa Miller : It didn't break.

  Joe Garrelli : It's not supposed to break. My talent is hitting things real hard and not hurt my hand.

• Dave Nelson : No offence, Joe, but that is not really a talent.

  Joe Garrelli : That's big talk coming from a tap-dancing jelly maker who may or may not have been a high school thespian.

• Dave Nelson : Come on, people! In the right hands, knife targeting is safer than driving.