Jimmy: Dave, don't mess with a man with a Wayback Machine. I can make it so you were never born.
Lisa Miller: [about the fashion models Dave was talking to] So, which one did you like best? The tall one with the big breasts, or the slightly taller one with the even bigger breasts?
Dave Nelson: You know, I don't think people are scrutinizing us as much as you seem to think.
Lisa Miller: Yeah, that's what the Rosenbergs said.
Lisa Miller: Do you have another shirt?
Dave Nelson: Sure. Here you go.
[hands Lisa a blue shirt]
Lisa Miller: Dave, this is identical to the one I have on.
Dave Nelson: No it isn't. That one is Azure and that one is Lapis.
Lisa Miller: Can I have another shirt, please?
Dave Nelson: [pulls out a series of blue shirts] Let's see, there's Indigo, Sapphire, Sky, and Standard Blue.
Lisa Miller: Ever see Rain Man, Dave?
Bill McNeal: Are there any instructions?
Joe Garrelli: Yeah. Don't push that button unless you want to incapacitate someone for a full half hour.
Bill McNeal: Incapacitate?
Joe Garrelli: Yeah, it delivers three, four-hundred volts of electricity to the system at four amps. Instant temporary paralysis. I call it the Stalker Shocker.
Bill McNeal: Yes, I see you've written it here in Magic Marker.
Bill McNeal: Joe, this doesn't look like a stun gun.
Joe Garrelli: And this doesn't look like a megaphone, but watch this.
Joe Garrelli: [Speaks into device; works like megaphone] Red Sox suck!
Jimmy: You know, back in the service we had a saying: You can't expect your troops to salute you if you're sleeping with the sergeant.
Dave Nelson: What, what branch of the service were you in, sir?