New Tricks (2003–2015)
3 user

Painting on Loan 

Sir Tim is Surveyor of the Queen's Pictures. He discovers that some of the pictures in his charge are fakes. But they never used to be. Was his predecessor making money on the side?


Jamie Payne


Nick Fisher, Roy Mitchell (creator) | 1 more credit »


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Episode cast overview, first billed only:
Alun Armstrong ... Brian Lane
James Bolam ... Jack Halford
Amanda Redman ... Sandra Pullman
Dennis Waterman ... Gerry Standing
Chiké Okonkwo ... PC Clark
Nicholas Day ... Donald Bevan
Susan Jameson Susan Jameson ... Esther Lane
Anthony Head ... Sir Tim
Paul Copley ... Pat the Rat
Hattie Morahan ... Totty Vogel-Downing
Christine Kavanagh Christine Kavanagh ... Christine Hardy
Avril Elgar Avril Elgar ... Olive Risk
Max Cane ... Tubby
Ewen Cummins Ewen Cummins ... Fire Officer
Jayasree Kabir ... Sangita's Mother (as Jayasree Roy-Kabir)


Sir Timothy, curator of the Royal art collection, calls in UCOS when one of the paintings is found to be a fake. Art expert Totty Vogel-Downing pinpoints the forgery to have been created in 1978, apparently by a forger who killed himself after his studio was destroyed in an arson attack aimed at a Kurdish sweatshop. The arsonist, Pat the Rat, has connections with George Wilson, the criminal who effectively ended Gerry's career, and Gerry is taken off the case. However, he pursues his own enquiries, leading him to believe that, whilst he may charm Sandra, Sir Timothy is not all he seems to be. Written by don @ minifie-1

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Did You Know?


The painting lent to Sandra Pullman by Sir Tim is "Dieppe, 14 July 1905: Night" by John Duncan Fergusson. See more »


[first lines]
Gerry Standing: [to car salesman] There you go. Look registered with the Stag Owners Club. British steel. British upholstery. British craftsmanship. It's the last of the great British cars, this. Oh, look, look. Smell that leather. Go on, smell it.
Gerry Standing: [his mobile rings] Morning.
Sandra Pullman: [on phone] Where are you?
Gerry Standing: I'm on my way in now; I won't be long.
Sandra Pullman: What you wearing?
Gerry Standing: Pardon?
Sandra Pullman: What are you wearing?
Gerry Standing: Well, today I'm wearing boxers. Blue cotton. They're quite clingy, too. When I move I can feel them riding...
Sandra Pullman: Have you got ...
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Aria from Madame Butterfly
Written by Giacomo Puccini
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User Reviews

Painting on Loan
12 September 2017 | by Prismark10See all my reviews

After a shaky first episode this is a cracking follow up. The UCOS team are told to put on shirt and tie as they are off to Buckingham Palace to investigate fake paintings and the boys know little about art.

Things get more interesting as they investigate the world of art forgery and uncover arson, dead bodies and a criminal kingpin.

Gerry has bought it himself a Fiat Panda car in a hideous yellow colour but he has previous with a criminal bigwig and finds himself off the case.

Brian's obsessiveness unearths a clue in a dead white rat from an arson attack in the late 1970s which leads them to an arsonist called Pat the rat.

Sandra meanwhile is charmed by Sir Timothy, the Surveyor of the Queen's art collection.

Lovely touches of humour, the boys work well together with hints of a backstory ever inching forward. There are some nice directorial touches so we the audience can understand and appreciate the artwork.

Of course by now we realise one thing about New Tricks. No Deus ex Machina plot resolutions. In a narrow field of suspects we can guess who the wrong'un is going to be rather easily.

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Release Date:

8 April 2004 (UK) See more »

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