The New Statesman (1987–1992)
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The Wapping Conspiracy 

Always eager to help improve the minds of the young ...

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Cast

Episode cast overview:
... Alan B'Stard
... Piers Fletcher-Dervish
... Sarah B'Stard
... Sir Austin Periam
David Stoll ... Judge
... Ronald Barrett
Paula Jacobs ... Labour Woman MP
... Mr Speaker
Debbie Killingback ... Pamela
Cheryl Miller ... Dhorinja
Kim Benson ... Agnes
... Geoff Dicquead
... Peter Moran
Peter Woods ... Himself
Richard Whitmore ... Himself
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Storyline

B'stard is named and shamed as a filthy pervert who has sex with under-age girls by 'Times' reporter Ronald Barrett so he sues him and takes him to court with Sarah helping to assume the roles of a devoted couple. When Piers proves to be a useless prosecutor B'stard conducts his own cross-examination, getting Barrett to admit that he doctored the photos which are all false, because he was jealous of B'stard. B'stard wins substantial damages but afterwards it transpires that the entire case was a money-making scam between Barrett and B'stard though when Barrett threatens to declare the fact B'stard sues him for defamation of character. Written by don @ minifie-1

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Comedy

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Release Date:

29 January 1989 (UK)  »

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4:3
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Quotes

Judge: [Banging his gavel] Silence in court!
[Looks up from his papers and sees Piers trying unsuccessfully to sneak in]
Judge: Mr. Fletcher-Dervish, I presume?
Piers Fletcher-Dervish: [Nervously] I pray the court's indulgence, my lord. My train was hijacked by irate commuters and I was taken to Cop Foster's against my will. Have I missed much?
Judge: Not as much as you're going to miss. I fine you one thousand guineas for contempt of court. Well, I think this is a suitable place to adjourn proceedings for this afternoon, as I have tickets ...
[...]
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