B'stard is named and shamed as a filthy pervert who has sex with under-age girls by 'Times' reporter Ronald Barrett so he sues him and takes him to court with Sarah helping to assume the roles of a devoted couple. When Piers proves to be a useless prosecutor B'stard conducts his own cross-examination, getting Barrett to admit that he doctored the photos which are all false, because he was jealous of B'stard. B'stard wins substantial damages but afterwards it transpires that the entire case was a money-making scam between Barrett and B'stard though when Barrett threatens to declare the fact B'stard sues him for defamation of character.
don @ minifie-1
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[Banging his gavel
Silence in court!
[Looks up from his papers and sees Piers trying unsuccessfully to sneak in
Mr. Fletcher-Dervish, I presume?
I pray the court's indulgence, my lord. My train was hijacked by irate commuters and I was taken to Cop Foster's against my will. Have I missed much?
Not as much as you're going to miss. I fine you one thousand guineas for contempt of court. Well, I think this is a suitable place to adjourn proceedings for this afternoon, as I have tickets ...