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"Monty Python's Flying Circus" It's a Living (TV Episode 1970) Poster

Quotes

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First Man: Excuse me, I'd like to get married.

Registrar: I'm afraid I'm already married.

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[first lines]

Announcer: Hello, good evening, and welcome to, "It's A Living." The rules are very simple. Each week, we get a large fee. At the end of that week, we get another large fee. If there's been no interruption at the end of the year, we get a repeat fee, which can be added on for tax purposes to the previous year, or the following year if there's no new series. Every contestant, in addition to getting a large fee is entitled to three drinks at the BBC or, if the show is over, seven drinks - unless he's an M.P., in which case he can have seven drinks before the show; or a bishop, only three drinks in total. The winners will receive an additional fee, a prize which they can flog back, and a special fee for a guest appearance on "Late Night Line-up." Well, those are the rules, that's the game. We'll be back again same time next week; 'til then, bye-bye!

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BBC Voiceover: Well, it's five past nine and nearly time for six past nine. On BBC 2 now, it'll shortly be six and a half minutes past nine. Later on this evening, it'll be ten o'clock and at 10:30 we'll be joining BBC 2 in time for 10:33, and don't forget tomorrow when it'll be 9:20. Those of you who missed 8:45 on Friday will be able to see it again this Friday at a quarter to nine. Now, here is a time check. It's six and a half minutes to the big green thing.

2nd BBC Voiceover: You're a looney.

BBC Voiceover: I get so bored. I get so bloody bored.

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Interviewer: Good evening. I have with me in the studio tonight one of the country's leading skin specialists, Raymond Luxury Yacht.

Raymond Luxury Yacht: That's not my name!

Interviewer: [tries literal pronunciation] I'm sorry; Raymond Luxury Yatscht.

Raymond Luxury Yacht: No no no, it's spelled, "Raymond Luxury Yacht," but it's pronounced, "Throat Warbler Mangrove".

Interviewer: You are a very silly man, and I'm not going to interview you.

Raymond Luxury Yacht: Ah, ha! Anti-Semitism!

Interviewer: Not at all. It's not even a proper nose.

[the Interviewer removes Raymond's nose]

Interviewer: It's polystyrine.

Raymond Luxury Yacht: Give me my nose back!

Interviewer: You can collect it at reception. Now go away.

Raymond Luxury Yacht: I want to be on television!

Interviewer: Well you can't.

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