Davy: What a kiss! I've never felt this way before.
Lorelei: You fool! It was not my kiss, it was the magic necklace!
Davy: What a necklace. I've never felt this way before.
Peter: I know I've seen that face before. I know I've seen that face be... I have faced that scene before.
Micky: I'm scared, I'm scared, let's get outta here!
Mike: We can't leave now, man, we haven't found Davy.
Micky: We could form a trio?
The Count: Here we are in my beautiful laboratory in my beautiful castle in the dungeon with the beautiful fake background!
Davy: Gee Lorelei, when you said you lived by the water I didn't think you'd meant the swamp.
The Count: Here, drink this.
Davy: What is it?
The Count: This is only tomato juice.
Davy: Don't you mean tomato juice?
The Count: Drink it! To get you used to the color. But in the matter of a few days, you will be drinking blood!
Davy: Blood! Bleh!
The Count: Bleh?
The Count: Bleh!
Davy: [facing camera] I think we got a hit.
The Count: I think this boy's mind will be perfect for the monster.
Lorelei: But why, uncle, why?
The Count: Because he hasn't a brain in his head.
Toy Bat: I want to drink you're blood!
Peter: That's not at all nice to say.
Toy Bat: I want to sip your blood?
Peter: Much better.
Davy: [speaking to the Wolfman] After all, what has Dracula ever done for you? All those pictures you've made together: 'Dracula Leaves', 'Dracula Returns'. You know, you've made over thirty movies with him, and you haven't even got second billing!
Davy: [Wolfman growls affirmatively] What you need is a good agent. These people are exploiting you!
Micky: Oh, Lorelei, I'm so glad I found you. There's monster's out there!
Lorelei: Monsters? What are we going to do?
Micky: [speaking with a masculine voice] Well, don't worry, my middle name is 'Danger'.
Micky: [the Wolfman lets out a growl from behind the door] Aaah! Of course, my last name is 'Chicken'.
Micky: [dressed as a Wolfman] What are you doing in here, this is our fantasy?
Davy: Yeah, yeah, we're the Monkees, you see, in every show we do a fantasy sequence, where we romp around and jump and do funny things, and nobody interrupts us. Nobody!
The Count: It seems this show is different.