Milton Berle - Host: 11:45 a.m.: This is the first day of rehearsal. I'll give you all the facts, ma'am. This is the day the guest stars meet for the first time. They get to know each other. The next day they call each other by their first names. By the end of the week, they call each other names.
Milton Berle - Narrator: These are the scripts the guest stars will soon begin to read - those that can read. The big concern of the guest stars is the number of jokes they have, so the first thing they do is to count the jokes - those who can count. But what of the star who thinks he doesn't have enough jokes? It's the same problem every week... the star with the smallest talent makes the biggest disturbance.
Milton Berle - Host: I haven't got enough jokes! I just haven't got enough jokes. Fine writers - the jokes they gave me could fit on a piece of confetti.