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"Married... with Children" The Dateless Amigo (TV Episode 1989) Poster

Quotes

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Al: [demonstrating an invention] We're gonna be so rich, people are gonna HAVE to like us.

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Kelly: Bud, look at yourself. Face the ugly truth. They don't have woods deep enough to grow the kind of girls that would be willing to date you. I mean, maybe you're aiming too high. You know, a live girl. See, your problem is, you've got caviar taste, and a pizza face. Aim a little lower. Hey, logs can't run away! And then there's the dead. You know, a girl who's been dead long enough might even think that you're a good catch. Hey, I know, how about a nice department store mannequin? I mean, they're used to being undressed by sexless boys.

Bud: Thanks for the help, Bleached Blanket Bimbo.

Kelly: They may call me bimbo, but at least they call me.

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Marcy: Steve, don't tell them about your insane quest to create the 99 cent coin.

Steve: Al, I invented the 99 cent coin. Have you ever noticed how things cost $7.99? $14.99? $99.99? My coin will eliminate the messy change that only catches the attention of obnoxious beggars who hastle you on the way to your Mercedes. What do you think of it, Al?

Al: What about tax?

Steve: [after pause] You sound just like those fools in the treasury department.

Marcy: Well, Dear, maybe if you hadn't have insisted on putting your picture on the coin.

Steve: Whose should it have been? Yours? Look, Al, you gotta see your dream through, Buddy. All they can do is laugh at you.

Marcy: And audit you for five straight years.

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