In the midst of a blizzard, Henry and Radar write to Quartermaster Corps, thanking them for the mosquito netting and summer underwear and asking for winter clothing; they try to get warm by burning orders rescinding orders that were never sent. The only one in camp not freezing to death is Hawkeye, who is wearing beautiful, double-weave semi-woollen long johns, soft as a baby's bottom. But Hawkeye's heart is as soft as the long johns...or the baby's bottom because when Trapper gets a cough, Trapper gets to enjoy them. Then Radar has 4 10's and wins them from Trapper, a cook trades a lamb and mint jelly to Radar for them, Frank weasels them away from the cook, Hotlips shames them from Frank, Klinger lifts them from Hotlips' tent, Father Mulcahy gets them from a repentant Klinger and Henry gets them from the good Father. Now, if only Hawkeye and Trapper can keep Henry's appendix from bursting, Hawkeye might get his long johns back.
Did You Know?
Hawkeye refers to Groucho Marx when he comments about "Duck Soup" as Henry walks to the OR bent over with pain from his appendix. See more
Maj. Burns tells the cook that he's demoting him to corporal, with a corresponding reduction in pay. However, according to Article 15 of the Uniform Code of Military Justice, a demotion can only be administered by a commanding officer. Maj. Burns, being second-in-command, would not have authority to demote the cook. See more
Captain Benjamin Franklin Pierce
If he lets everyone feel them, all that'll be left is a package of lint.
References The Mummy
I've Got My Love to Keep Me Warm
Written by Irving Berlin
Sung by Alan Alda See more