M*A*S*H (TV Series)

Adam's Ribs (1974)

Gary Burghoff: Cpl. Walter 'Radar' O'Reilly

Photos 

Quotes 

• Radar : [confused as to why Hawkeye wants to place a phone call to Chicago in the middle of the night]  Chicago?

  Hawkeye : That toddlin' town. Home of the stockyards. Mrs. O'Leary's cow. The White Sox, the Cubs, Carl Sandberg.

  Radar : Who's he pitch for?

  Hawkeye : The poet. Chicago. Hog butcher for the world. Toolmaker. Stacker of wheat. Player with railroads and the nation's freight handler. Stormy, husky, brawling, City of the Big Shoulders. Sandberg knew, Radar. Spareribber for the universe! Maker of meat on a bone! The home of the pigsicle! Give me your tired, your poor... your cole slaw.

• Hawkeye : [after getting off the phone with Adam's Ribs]  Oh damn it! DAMN IT!

  Radar : What?

  Hawkeye : I forgot to order cole slaw.

• Henry : [after Hawkeye starts a riot in the mess tent over the food]  Just who do you think you are, Pierce?

  Hawkeye : I broke under the pressure, warden.

  Trapper : Eleven straight days, Henry!

  Henry : Well, don't you think I tried for some relieviation?

  Radar : Yes, sir?

  Henry : Radar, what happened to the frozen turkey I ordered you to order?

  Radar : I put in the requisition, sir, marked "urgent."

  Henry : Well?

  Radar : They sent us five thousand athletic supporters.

  Trapper : Marked "urgent!"

  [laughs] 

  Henry : I don't find that such a rib-tickler, Mclntyre.

• Radar : [to Sparky]  Thanks, you done terrific!

  Hawkeye : DID terrific.

  Radar : That's what I said he done.

• Hawkeye : Right now, I'm thinking of bigger things.

  [Looks at Klinger] 

  Hawkeye : Don't you come from Chicago?

  Radar : [Klinger was about to talk]  No, he's from Toledo.

  Klinger : But I get my lingerie from Chicago.

  [Trapper is cleaning a glass] 

  Trapper : And it's beautiful.

  [Hawkeye, Radar, and Klinger stares at him] 

  Trapper : I hear.

• Klinger : How can you eat this slop?

  Radar : My mouth is tone deaf.

• Radar : Sir. Wake up, sir. The spareribs are here.

  Hawkeye : Where? Where?

  Radar : They're in a supply depot down in Ouijongbu. Uh, they're hung up in channels.

  Hawkeye : Who hung 'em?

  Radar : Well, I talked to a Major Pfiefer. He wouldn't even talk to me when I talked to him.

  Hawkeye : What'd he say?

  Radar : He started with, "Drop dead." And then he got rude!

• Hawkeye : This is it, Radar. We're approaching Nirvana

  Radar : Is that anywhere near Chicago?

• Trapper : [on phone, with an old girlfriend]  Mildred, this is John McIntyre. That's right, Big John.

  Hawkeye : Big John!

  Radar : [smiles]  Lucky!