Vicki (Jill Whelan) feels unneeded on the ship and begs Captain Stubing (Gavin MacLeod) to give her a job, so he "hires" her as his personal secretary. But she gets carried away with enthusiasm and prompts the crew to make her workload a little less enjoyable. Three members (Rose Marie, Jan Clayton and Lucille Benson) of a floating bridge game get annoyed when their new fourth member, Shirley Simpson (Nanette Fabray), meets dentist Frank Leonhardt (Robert Alda) on the cruise and decides she would rather get to know him better than play bridge. Emotionally cold Linda Trent (Carlene Watkins) turns down all possible male suitors in no uncertain terms. So fellow passenger Barry Styles (Jim Stafford) introduces himself and tries to win her over by feigning disinterest and claiming to have taken a vow of celibacy.