Dr. Audrey Jackson: Do you always deflect personal questions with jokes?
John Munch: Do you always deflect jokes with personal questions?
Dr. Audrey Jackson: Have you ever experienced any sexual dysfunction since taking this job? And I'd like a serious answer.
Det. John Munch: Once.
Dr. Audrey Jackson: Thank you. And when was that?
Det. John Munch: Not sure, but I think it was somewhere in the last ten minutes.
Randolph Morrow: Honey, I'd like a mineral water, no ice.
Detective Olivia Benson: And I'd like your balls in a blender, but ain't life a bitch?
Dr. Audrey Jackson: We still have 45 minutes.
John Munch: Well, I could give you a complete detailed account of my sex life... but what are we going to do with the other 44 minutes?
Det. John Munch: Does dealing with sexual deviance affect me? The answer is no, you can ask my blow up doll.
Donald Cragen: Okay, let me see if I got this straight. Some girl is being sexually abused by some guy, somewhere in Manhattan?
Elliot Stabler: Something like that.
Donald Cragen: [to Dr. Jackson] This is ridiculous. Why don't you just ask me?
Dr. Audrey Jackson: Ask you?
Donald Cragen: The question you're tap-dancing around. Do I get the urge to drink? See, that's the problem with you people. You ask about golfing or jogging or whether a person was breast-fed or not. Why don't you just ask me about my alcoholism? That's what this has been about, hasn't it?
Dr. Audrey Jackson: Do you want to talk about it?
Donald Cragen: No, I don't, but I will. Yes. I get the urge to drink. Every day. I see horrific acts of degradation, of brutality, of human evil. They make me angry. They make me sick. They get inside my head and I wanna shut them up. I know if I crawl inside of a bottle, they will stop.
Dr. Audrey Jackson: Do you think you will?
Donald Cragen: Ask me tomorrow.
Elliot Stabler: [after the Brass just issued orders for SVU to undergo psychiatric evaluations] Do you believe this?
Detective Olivia Benson: Shrinks get shrunk. Maybe we could use a little.
Det. John Munch: [to the reservation agent] And don't answer that phone. Anyone who calls an airline sits on hold 20 minutes minimum while being subjected to a Clockwork Orangeian repetitive loop on the benefits of your awards program.
Reservations Agent: I believe that's your phone, sir.
Det. John Munch: [to Dr. Jackson] Look, I'm not good talking about me. You're the expert, why don't you talk about me?
Dr. Audrey Jackson: OK. You've been married multiple times. Each wife was spoiled, beautiful, but not one matched you intellectually. You distrust all women, any form of government and you could smell a conspiracy at a five-year-old's lemonade stand.
Det. John Munch: Anything else?
Dr. Audrey Jackson: You've given up on relationships, but you still believe in true love.
Det. John Munch: [to Jeffries] Are you all right?
Monique Jefferies: Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?
Det. John Munch: The psych exam. Dr. Giggles had me wanting to eat my gun.
Mrs. Morrow: [about her husband] He treats Tamara like a princess. She is his daughter.
Detective Olivia Benson: Adopted daughter. She's not even his flesh and blood.
Mrs. Morrow: He said it was so perfect. A woman just in the States and nobody would even know she existed. He kept her chained in a closet for the first six months.
Detective Olivia Benson: Except to rape and torture her.
Mrs. Morrow: You have no idea what I went through.
Elliot Stabler: That's why you never did anything for Ilena. Because he stopped doing it to you.
Randolph Morrow: I control Ilena. She doesn't eat, sleep or urinate without my permission. I control her. I do.
Elliot Stabler: You like beating up women? Huh, tough guy? Stand up. Sit down. Stand up. Stand up. Sit down. Sit down! Now who controls who?
Dr. Audrey Jackson: [to Stabler] How do you handle it?
Elliot Stabler: I think, a lot. About the crime, the victim, the people who do this sort of thing.
Dr. Audrey Jackson: Anything else?
Elliot Stabler: How I could get away with killing 'em.
Donald Cragen: [to Dr. Jackson] How goes the witch hunt?
Dr. Audrey Jackson: Well, I've seen everybody.
Donald Cragen: You find any bed-wetters or cross-dressers?
Dr. Audrey Jackson: No. No, I've found a commensurate level of stress and neurosis that one would expect in this work. For the most part.
Donald Cragen: For the most part.
Dr. Audrey Jackson: The purpose of this program is to identify detectives that are close to meltdown. It's to protect the public from them as well as themselves.
Donald Cragen: You're saying you found someone in my unit?
Dr. Audrey Jackson: I did. I'm afraid I have to recommend that they be removed from duty. Immediately.
Donald Cragen: [looks at his detectives] Who?