Dr. Grimaldi: Do you want it straight?
Detective Benny Furore: I don't want it at all. I'd give anything for a ten-foot pole I didn't have to touch it with. It's the big casino, isn't it?
Dr. Grimaldi: Advanced stomach cancer. Malignant and inoperable.
Kojak: Hey, Benny, if it wasn't for you, Eddie Ryan would've had as much razzle-dazzle as a wet firecracker.
Detective Benny Furore: Is that what you think? Is that what you think Eddy Ryan was like? A grandstander? Well let me tell you something: Eddie Ryan had more guts than anyone on this island. What do you think got him killed?
Kojak: Dumb got him killed. Dead is not guts. Dead is dumb.
Kojak: [dripping with sarcasm] Hey look, Deidre, I'm sorry I missed your coming out party. I hear you were crowned Miss Sillicone, is that right?
Solly DeChico: Hey, Kojak, did you come here to break in a nightclub act or was there something special you wanted?
Kojak: Hey, Counselor, you tell your client to have his mouth behave, or he's a prime candidate for a get well card.
Solly DeChico: [raises voice] He threatened me! You heard that, he threatened me!
Kojak: Greeks, they don't threaten. They utter prophecies.
Eddie Ryan: Flora was asking for you. She wants to know how come she hasn't seen you anymore in the deli.
Detective Benny Furore: Oh yeah? Well next time you see her tell her I'm on bivouac with a gorilla.
Detective Benny Furore: Everything I eat tastes like old towel rolls, you know? These last couple of weeks my stomach feels like something crawled in it and died.
Kojak: In the alley you couldn't see anything. And the alley was so dark you couldn't find your mouth with a $5 pizza.
Kojak: [Benny shows up to work wearing outlandish clothes] What's the gag?
Detective Benny Furore: What do you mean, what's the gag? You told me you wanted me to change my image.
Kojak: Oh yeah, I forgot about that. So if I asked you to lose some weight, what would you do, cut off your left arm? You're three hours late and you show up looking like Zsa Zsa Gabor's Christmas tree!
Ellen Ryan: I was going through his closet, looking for something to bury him in.
[pours Benny a drink]
Ellen Ryan: You know, he didn't have anything that you could really call a suit, heh. I can't lay him out in, eh, rhinestones and recycled blue jeans, can I?
[hands the drink to Benny]
Ellen Ryan: I mean he'd look like David Bowie.
Detective Benny Furore: Why not? I mean, Eddie would dig that. Can you see the commissioner's face?
[starts to laugh but his laughter soon turns to tears]