Blanche Devereaux: So, Marguerite, wont you start by telling us a little about yourself.
Marguerite Brown: Well, there isn't much to tell. I'm hard working. Honest. And I'll work for a reasonable wage.
Rose Nylund: That's it?
Marguerite Brown: Alright. I wont go on with this charade any longer. There is something else, I'm black. Now if that's a problem for you, I'm white. Course that'll cost you extra!
Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: Oh, Marguerite, I could kiss you!
Marguerite Brown: And I don't go for that freaky stuff.
Rose Nylund: Oh, neither do Dorothy and I.
Sophia Petrillo: So what's all this crap about you putting a curse on my daughter?
Marguerite Brown: What is she talking about?
Sophia Petrillo: Don't play dumb with me. I've been known to cast a curse myself. Do you think Shelley Long was really tired of playing in Cheers? Wrong, baby! I was tired of her!
Marguerite Brown: Is that what you think this is all about? You think I put a curse on you?
Blanche Devereaux: Well, it's true! You got mad at us for firing you, that's why you reversed that love potion you gave me.
Marguerite Brown: Honey, that wasn't love potion. That was Chanel Number 5!
Rose Nylund: I'm not buying that! Dorothy uses Chanel Number 5 all the time and she never attracts men!
Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: [coming onto the lanai carrying a small painted rock] Girls, look what I found under my bed.
Rose Nylund: Gee, that's the most colorful dustball I've ever seen.
Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: This is no dustball, Rose. I think it may be some kind of charm.
Marguerite Brown: [overhearing] It is! I learned it from my grandmother. You put a specially painted rock beneath a person's bed to bring them a restful sleep.
Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: Are you telling me that you put this under my bed?
Marguerite Brown: Well, I was only trying to be helpful! I figured with those terrible bags you needed the rest.
Rose Nylund: Dorothy always looks like that.
Blanche Devereaux: And besides it'll take a lot more than rest to get rid of those babies!
Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: Listen, I have an idea. Why don't each of you take it in turns hitting me with a two by four?
Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: [walking into the kitchen and finding Rose sweeping the floor] Rose why are you cleaning the kitchen? This is Marguerite's job!
Rose Nylund: Dorothy, I know what you're gonna say. But I talked to Marguerite on the phone and this time she has a really good excuse for being late.
Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: Fine. What is it?
Rose Nylund: She had to go pluck a hair from the chin of a dawrf.
Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: And you fell for that old excuse?