David Schwimmer credited as playing...
Dr. Ross Geller
- Ross: Hey, this people are pros, they know what they're doing, they take their time, they get the job done
- [first lines]
- Monica Geller: What you guys don't understand is that, for us, kissing is as important as any part of it.
- Joey Tribbiani: [with derision] Yeah, right...! Seriously?
- Phoebe Buffay: Oh, yeah!
- Rachel Green: Everything you need to know is in that first kiss.
- Monica Geller: Absolutely.
- Chandler Bing: Yeah, I think for us, kissing is pretty much like the comedian you have to sit through before Pink Floyd comes out.
- Ross: Yeah, and - and it's *not* like we don't *like* the comedian, it's just that - that... that's not why we bought the ticket.
- Chandler Bing: You see, the problem is though, after the concert's over, no matter how great the show was, you girls are always looking for the comedian again. And we're all fighting traffic, basically just trying to stay awake.
- Rachel Green: Yeah, well, word of advice. Bring back the comedian, otherwise next time you're gonna find yourself sitting at home listening to that album *alone.*
- Ross: [at the museum, where he's fixing the display] You look great. I, uh, I hate that.
- Carol Willick: Sorry. Thanks. You look good too.
- Ross: Yeah, well, you know, anyone in here who... stands erect...
- [probably not a good term to use around Carol]
- Ross: So, what's new? Still, uh...?
- Carol Willick: A lesbian?
- Ross: Well...
- [she nods]
- Ross: You never know. But, uhm, how's the family?
- Carol Willick: [scoffs] Marty's still totally paranoid. Oh, and...
- Ross: Why - why are you here, Carol?
- Carol Willick: I'm pregnant.
- Ross: [taken aback] Pregnant?