Dr. Leonard Green: Do you know what rust does to a boat?
Ross Geller: Give it that nice, antique-y look?
Dr. Leonard Green: Rust is boat cancer.
Ross Geller: I'm sorry. When I was a kid, I lost a bike to that.
Phoebe: [sees a little kid playing with a race car bed - to kid] Hi. Y'know in England this car would be on the other side of the store.
Joey: There will come a time in each of your careers when you'll have a chance to screw over another soap opera actor. I had such an opportunity in the recent, present. And I'm ashamed to say that I took it, I advised a fellow actor to play a role, homosexually. Yeah, we both auditioned for the part, and uh, as it turned out, they... liked the stupid gay thing and cast him! And now, he's got a two year contract opposite Susan Lucci, the First Lady of daytime television, and me, me I'm stuck here teaching a bunch of people, most of whom are too ugly to even be on TV!
Phoebe: I'm not sure about buying a mattress from Janice's ex-husband. It's like betraying Chandler.
Monica: Not at these prices.
Dr. Leonard Green: [to Ross] Nice hair, what did you do, swim here?
Joey: Okay, let's say I've just gotten bad news, well all I do there is try and divide 232 by 13.
Delivery Man: Dum da-da dum! Hear ye, hear ye! A Delivery from the Mattress King!
Mattress King: [Mattress King Commercial] Despair fills the mattress showroom. My kingdom is suddenly without a queen. I'm so depressed, I'm going to slash... My Prices!