- Bandit: [robbing a couple on a floating wagon] You gonna give us what's due us and every damn thing else on that boat. And I think maybe you gonna give me a little one-on-one time with the misses.
- Jayne: Oh, I think you might wanna reconsider that last part. See, I married me a powerful ugly creature.
- Mal: [in disguise in a dress and large bonnet] How can you say that? How can you shame me in front of new people?
- Jayne: If I could make you purtier, I would.
- Mal: [gasps] You are not the man I met a year ago.
- [Mal and Jayne pull their guns on the unsuspecting bandits]
- Mal: Now, think real hard. You've been birddoggin' this township a while now. They wouldn't mind a corpse of you. Now, you can luxuriate in a nice jail cell, but if your hand touches metal, I swear, by my pretty floral bonnet, I will end you.
- Book: [to Mal] If you take sexual advantage of her, you're going to burn in a very special level of hell. A level they reserve for child molesters and people who talk at the theater.
- Saffron: Are you gonna kill me?
- Mal: What? What kind of crappy planet is that? Kill you.
- Saffron: In the maiden's home, I heard talk of men who weren't pleased with their brides...
- Mal: Well, I ain't them. And don't you ever stand for that sort of thing. Someone ever tries to kill you, you try to kill 'em right back.
- [Jayne is walking menacingly towards Mal with a large gun]
- Jayne: Six men came to kill me one time. And the best of 'em carried this. It's a Callahan full-bore auto-lock. Customized trigger, double cartridge thorough gauge. It is my very favorite gun.
- [he holds the gun out to Mal]
- Mal: [exclaims in Chinese] You offering me a trade?
- Jayne: A trade? Hell, it's theft. This the best gun made by man. It has *extreme* sentimental value. It's miles more worthy 'n what you got!
- Mal: What I got? She has a name.
- Jayne: So does this. I call it Vera.
- Mal: Well, my days of not takin' ya seriously are certainly comin' to a middle.
- Inara Serra: Well, yes. So, explain to me again why Zoe wasn't in the dress?
- Mal: Tactics, woman. Needed her in the back. 'Sides, those soft cotton dresses feel kinda nice. It's the whole... air-flow.
- Inara Serra: And you'd know that because...?
- Mal: You can't open the book of my life and jump in the middle. Like woman, I'm a mystery.
- Inara Serra: Let's keep it that way. I withdraw the question.
- Inara: But Mal said... you - you don't approve of my work.
- Saffron: Sure'n he said that to keep you from me. I was too curious about you, ever since I saw you.
- Inara: Come to my shuttle.
- Saffron: You would... you would lie with me?
- [Alarms go off]
- Inara: I guess we've lied enough.
- Saffron: You're good.
- Inara: You're amazing. Who are you?
- Saffron: Malcolm Reynolds' widow.
- Wash: [Wash being seduced by Saffron] I wish I was somebody else right now, somebody not... married, not madly in love with a beautiful woman who can kill me with her pinky.
- River: [in a deleted scene, to Shepherd Book] We want you to marry us.
- Simon: What? We... no!
- [pause]
- Simon: What?
- River: Two by two. Everyone has a match, a mate, a dopple. I love you.
- Simon: No, River... mei-mei... of course, I love you too, but we can't be married.
- [to Shepherd Book]
- Simon: She's really crazy!
- Simon: [River kicks Simon in the shin] Ow! Ah, no, I - I don't mean crazy... that's just - you know that's not something brothers and sisters do. I mean, on some planets, but only pretty bad ones.
- Mal: [In Inara's shuttle] You're a very graceful woman, Inara.
- Inara Serra: [Confused] Uh... thank you.
- Mal: So here's where I'm fuzzy. You got by that girl, came and found me, and somehow you happened to just trip and fall.
- Inara Serra: What do you mean?
- Mal: [Standing close, looking down into her eyes] C'mon, Inara. How's about we don't play. You didn't just trip, did you?
- Inara Serra: [Hesitates] ... No...
- Mal: Well, isn't that somethin'.
- [Looks smug]
- Mal: I knew you let her kiss you.
- [Turns and walks out, leaving Inara dumbfounded]
- Mal: [from a deleted scene] More than 70 earths spinnin' about the galaxy, and the meek have inherited not a one.
- Saffron: I'm sorry that I shame you.
- Mal: You don't shame me! Zoë, would you get Wash.
- Zoë: [Over the PA system] This is Zoë. We need all personnel in the cargo bay.
- Mal: All? I said Wash!
- Zoë: Captain, everyone should have a chance to congratulate you on your day of bliss.
- Mal: There's-there's no bliss! I don't know this girl.
- Jayne Cobb: Then can I know her?
- Wash: [to Saffron] Well, if it isn't the master chef. Not sleepy?
- Saffron: Am I allowed to be up here?
- Wash: Sure, why not? Not like anyone else is taking up space.
- Saffron: I've never been off-world before.
- Wash: [regarding the sky] Beautiful, isn't it?
- Saffron: It's like a dream.
- Wash: [pointing at the stars] Planet I'm from, couldn't see a one of 'em, pollution so thick. Sometimes I think I entered flight school just to see what the hell everyone was talking about.
- Mal: Whoa, hey. Flesh. Um... Saffron... i-it-it ain't a question of pleasing me. It's more a question of what's... um... of what's morally right.
- Saffron: I do know my Bible sir. "On the night of their betrothal, the wife shall open to the man as the furrow to the plow and he shall work in her, in and again, 'til she bring him to his fall and rest him then upon the sweat of her breast."
- Mal: Whoa, good Bible.
- Saffron: How'd you find me?
- Mal: Only a few places that shuttle would make it to from where you left. Happy to find it intact.
- Saffron: You're quite a man, Malcolm Reynolds.
- [seductively]
- Saffron: I've been waiting a long time for someone good enough to take me down.
- Mal: Saffron, you even think about playing me again I will riddle you with holes.
- Saffron: Everybody plays each other. That's all anybody ever does. We play parts.
- Mal: [to Saffron] You got all kinds of learnin' and you made me look the fool without tryin', and yet here I am with a gun to your head. That's 'cause I got people with me.
- Mal: Who the hell are you?
- Saffron: What do you mean?
- Mal: Well, I think I was pretty clear. What are you doing on my boat?
- Saffron: But, you know, I'm to cleave to you.
- Mal: To whubba who?
- Saffron: Did Elder Gommen not tell you?
- Mal: Tell me what? Who are you?
- Saffron: Mr. Reynolds, sir, I'm your wife.
- [intro plays]
- Mal: Could you repeat that please?
- Saffron: I am your wife. That was your agreement with Elder Gommen, since he hadn't cash or livestock enough...
- Mal: I-I-I'm sorry. Go back to the part where you're my wife.
- Saffron: I don't please you?
- Mal: You can't please me. You never met me. Zoë, why do I have a wife?
- Zoë: Clearly, she's out of her mind.
- Wash: She's led a sheltered life.
- Zoë: Did you see the way she grabbed that glass from you?
- Wash: Every planet has its own weird customs. About a year before we met, I spent six weeks on a moon where the principal form of recreation was juggling geese. My hand to God. Baby geese - goslings! They were juggled.
- Saffron: [to Mal, who has just finished supper she made for him] If you're done with supper, would you like me to wash your feet?
- [Mal, thrown for a loop, just walks away]
- Elder Gommen: [presenting Jayne his gift - a rain stick] It makes the rain come when you turn it. The rain's very scarce and comes only when needed most; and such it is with men like you.
- [Jayne is in awe over it, on the verge of tears]
- Jayne Cobb: This is the most... you... friend... you're the guy!
- [hugs Gommen]
- Jayne Cobb: I will treasure this.
- Saffron: I cried for I'd not dreamed to have a man so sweet so kind and beautiful. Had I the dare to choose, I'd choose you from all the men on all the planets the night sky could show me.
- Mal: This isn't happening. This -
- [to Saffron]
- Mal: Would you stop crying?
- Inara Serra: For God's sake, Mal, could you be a human being for thirty seconds?
- Wash: [to Mal] From one married man to another...
- Mal: I'm not married!