"Family Guy" 8 Simple Rules for Buying My Teenage Daughter (TV Episode 2005) Poster

John G. Brennan: Mort Goldman


  • Peter Griffin : While I'm at it give me all these copies of "Marie Claire." Ya know in case I wanna rub out that easy one before I get Lois into bed tonight.

    Mort Goldman : Kathleen Turner's on page 45.

    Peter Griffin : Kathleen Turner... ehh? Let's see how she looks.

    [glances at the magazine] 

    Peter Griffin : Aww, that's a shame.

  • Peter Griffin : Hey, Mort... do these suppositories come in any other flavors?

    Mort Goldman : Peter, are you EATING those?

    Peter Griffin : [sarcastically]  No, I'm shoving them up my butt... of course I'm eating them!

  • Peter Griffin : Hey, Mort, let me get a package of condoms. Oh, and I guess I'll need some Excedrin too because Lois has a headache "this big". Hah-hah! Did you see? It's like from the commercial, only I pointed at my junk.

    Mort Goldman : All right, Peter. That'll be $7.22.

    Peter Griffin : Oh, jeez, Mort, I didn't bring any money.

    Mort Goldman : Well, I suppose I could just open up a tab...

    Peter Griffin : What, you mean I wouldn't have to pay you?

    Mort Goldman : Well, not right away...

    Peter Griffin : In that case let me get this stack of Marie Claires, you know, in case I want to rub out the easy one before we start...

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