Larry David : [Larry is interviewing for the chef's position, and points to the bald chef's pate approvingly] Yeah. Yeah! Hey, hey, look at you, look at you!
Bald Chef : Yeah, look at you!
Larry David : When did you start losing it?
Bald Chef : Uh, I started losing when I was fifteen.
Larry David : Fifteen, wow, earlier than me, yeah.
Bald Chef : Yeah, a little bit earlier. You know, I actually like it.
Larry David : Ah. Yeah. Me too.
Bald Chef : Just put a little sunscreen on, it's fine.
Larry David : Yeah, a lot of sunscreen, right? Can't go outside without the sunscreen. No convertibles.
Bald Chef : No convertibles!
Larry David : Oh, God, I hate that!
Bald Chef : Absolutely. Because you have to wear a hat, if you're going to be in a convertible, and then you look like you're trying to hide something.
Larry David : Oh, well, that's what they do, these guys with the hats, don't they? They wear it all the time, and they'll meet a girl or something and then they'll show up on a date, what are they gonna do? They gonna take the hat off? They have a terrible decision to make...
Bald Chef : Right, right, and then the girl's gonna be like, "I didn't know you were bald."
Larry David : Yeah, yeah. "You misrepresented yourself!"
Bald Chef : Exactly. "You're a liar!"
Larry David : Minoxidil?
Bald Chef : No. You?
Larry David : No.
Bald Chef : Every day for the rest of your life you have to...
Larry David : Oh my God the drops and everything? I ain't gonna do that...
Bald Chef : ...and then they gotta massage it in.
Larry David : ...it's crazy, yeah. Ugh.
Bald Chef : There's something psychologically going wrong with them...
Larry David : Psychologically wrong with THEM? What about the transplant people?
Bald Chef : Oh! I hate those people.
Larry David : Toupee? Hmm?
Bald Chef : No.
Larry David : [skeptically] Huh?
Bald Chef : Oh, no. Absolutely not!
Larry David : Those guys, they should kill those guys.
Bald Chef : Exactly.
Larry David : I'm surprised Hitler didn't round up the toupee people.
Bald Chef : Yeah?
Larry David : I mean if I'm going to be a sick megalomaniac, to round up people who I hated, they would be on my list. I would say, "Get, get the toupee people."
Bald Chef : Absolutely.
Larry David : I'd have my henchmen going around, tugging at people's hair; if it comes off...
Bald Chef : [German accent] "BALDEN! Come with me!" Yeah.
Larry David : [German accent] "... ACH! Balden!"