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"Buffy the Vampire Slayer" Help (TV Episode 2002) Poster

(TV Series)

(2002)

Quotes

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Cassie Newton: [to Spike] She'll tell you. Someday she'll tell you.

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Willow Rosenberg: [to Buffy] Have you Googled her yet?

Xander Harris: Willow, she's seventeen!

Willow Rosenberg: It's a search engine.

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Xander Harris: Figuring out how to control your magic seems a lot like hammering a nail. Well, uh, hear me out. So you're hammering, right? If you hold the end of the hammer, you have the power, but no control. It takes, like, two strokes to hit the nail in, or you could hit your thumb.

Willow Rosenberg: Ouch.

Xander Harris: So you choke up. Control, but no power. It could take, like, ten strokes to knock the nail in. Power, control. It's a tradeoff.

Willow Rosenberg: That's actually not a bad analogy.

Xander Harris: Thanks.

Willow Rosenberg: Except I'm less worried about hitting my thumb, and more worried about going all black-eyed baddy and bewitching that hammer into cracking my friends' skulls open like coconuts.

Xander Harris: Right. Ouch.

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Cassie Newton: You think I want this? You think I don't care? Believe me, I want to be here, I- Do things. I wanna graduate from high school, and I wanna go to the stupid Winter Formal. I have this friend, and it would be fun to go with him. Just to dance and hear lame music, to wear a silly dress and laugh, and stuff. I'd like to go. There's a lot of stuff I'd like to do. I'd love to ice skate at Rockefeller Center. And I'd love to see my cousins grow up and see how they turn out, 'cause they're really mean, and I think they're gonna be fat. I'd love to backpack across the country or, I don't know, fall in love. But I won't. I just never will.

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Buffy Summers: Buffy the Vampire Slayer would break down this door.

Xander Harris: And Buffy the Counselor?

Buffy Summers: Waits.

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Xander Harris: Poems. Always a sign of pretentious inner turmoil.

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Buffy Summers: Do you know how lame this is? Bored teenage boys tryin' to raise up a demon. Sorry it didn't show. I bet it's 'cause you forgot the boom box playing some heavy metal thing, like Blue Clam Cult? I think that's the key to the raising of lame demons.

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Xander Harris: "From beneath you, it devours." It's not the friendliest jingle, is it? It's no "I like Ike" or "Milk: It does a body good."

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Dawn Summers: She looks...

Buffy Summers: Peaceful.

Dead Woman: I am not peaceful.

Buffy Summers: That, I can help with.

[stakes vampire]

Buffy Summers: I always thought closed caskets were more tasteful anyway.

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Principal Robin Wood: Every time there's a threat like this, we do the same dance - inform teachers, search lockers - but we can't, we can't know what's gonna happen, and we can't search their brains. We just-we just do what we can.

Buffy Summers: It's not enough. I need to fix this. I don't usually get a heads-up before somebody dies.

Principal Robin Wood: What do you mean usually?

Buffy Summers: No, No, not since-I mean, I'm sure it's not usual to get a chance to stop something like...

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Buffy Summers: You have to stick up for yourself, Amanda. You need to show this bully that you're not going to take anymore of his shi...

[stops]

Buffy Summers: Guff. Any guff.

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