Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV Series)
Graduation Day: Part 1 (1999)
Anya: Men like sports. I'm sure of it.
Xander Harris: Yes, men like sports. Men watch the action movie. They eat of the beef and they enjoy to look at the bosoms. A thousand years of avenging our wrongs and that's all you've learned?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I'm sorry. Uh, Lohesh was a four-winged soul killer, am I right? I was given to understand that they're not that fierce. Of all the demons we've faced...
Anya: You've never seen a demon.
Buffy Summers: Uh, excuse me. Killing them professionally four years running.
Anya: All the demons that walk the Earth are tainted, are human hybrids, like vampires. The Ascension means that a human becomes pure demon. They're different.
Rupert Giles: Different?
Buffy Summers: How?
Anya: Well, for one thing... they're bigger.
Xander Harris: The mayor is gonna kill us all during graduation.
Cordelia Chase: Oh. Are you gonna go to fifth period?
Xander Harris: I'm thinking I might skip it.
Cordelia Chase: Yeah, me, too.
Anya: You're going to die if you stay here.
Xander Harris: I guess I might.
Anya: When I think that something could happen to you, it feels *bad* inside, like I might vomit.
Xander Harris: Welcome to the world of romance.
Anya: It's horrible! No wonder I used to get so much work.
Xander Harris: Come on, guys. The suspense is killing Angel.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: The Council's orders are to concentrate on the Asc...
Buffy Summers: Orders...? I don't think I'm gonna be taking any more orders. Not from you. Not from them.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: You can't turn your back on the Council.
Buffy Summers: They're in England. I don't think they can tell which way my back is facing.
Rupert Giles: Faith has you at a disadvantage, Buffy.
Buffy Summers: 'Cause I'm not crazy or 'cause I don't kill people?
Rupert Giles: Both, actually.
Xander Harris: Both what?
Buffy Summers: Go to graduation and fight the mayor.
Xander Harris: The mayor...? What, you guys didn't hear?
Buffy Summers: Hear what?
Xander Harris: Guess who our commencement speaker is?
Willow Rosenberg: Siegfried?
Xander Harris: No.
Willow Rosenberg: Roy?
Xander Harris: No.
Willow Rosenberg: One of the tigers?
Xander Harris: Come out of the fantasy, Wil.
[Giles opens a book to a page of the mayor's demon form]
Xander Harris: Hey...
[Xander opens a fold-out a couple of times]
Xander Harris: ...we're going to need a bigger boat.
Willow Rosenberg: Oh, this is so frustrating.
Oz: Nothing useful?
Willow Rosenberg: No, it's great... if we wanna make ferns invisible or communicate with shrimp, I've got the goods right here.
Oz: Our lives are different than other people's.
Angel: Are you mad at me for being around too much or for not being around enough?
Buffy Summers: Duh, yes.
Buffy Summers: What?
Angel: I don't get you.
Buffy Summers: No, you don't. Not anymore.
Angel: Are you just making this harder to make this easier on yourself?
Buffy Summers: Can we stop with the brainteasers? I just wish it was over. Done.
Angel: Huh. It's not that simple. Once the mayor...
Buffy Summers: I know. World in peril and we have to work together. This is my last office romance, I'll tell you that.
Angel: You want me out of your face?
[throws down the box of books and starts to walk away]
Buffy Summers: Isn't it even a little hard for you?
Angel: How can you ask me that? Just 'cause I'm not acting like a brat doesn't mean I don't feel anything.
Buffy Summers: It's nice to know what you think of me.
Angel: What do you expect me to say when you just attack?
Buffy Summers: I just can't do this anymore. I can't have you in my life when I'm trying to move o...
[Angel gets shot with an arrow and falls to the ground]
Buffy Summers: Angel!
Buffy Summers: Okay, ready?
Buffy Summers: On 3. 1...
[pulls out arrow]
Angel: Ahh. I knew you were gonna do that.
Rupert Giles: Not too much blood here.
Angel: I heal pretty fast. I should be all right.
Buffy Summers: I'm just glad Faith's such a suck shot.
Rupert Giles: We're sure it was her?
Buffy Summers: Well, I've narrowed down my list of one suspect.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Fascinating.
Rupert Giles: What?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: It seems our Mr. Worth headed an expedition in Kauai, digging through old lava beds near a dormant volcano.
Buffy Summers: I'm not fascinated yet.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: He found something underneath. A carcass, buried by an eruption.
Rupert Giles: A carcass?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: A very large one. Mr. Worth posits that it might be some heretofore undiscovered dinosaur.
Angel: A demon?
Rupert Giles: Well, yes, that would be something that the-the mayor would want to keep a secret. If it's the same kind of demon he's turning into and it's dead, then it means that... well, he's only impervious to harm until the Ascension. In its demon form, he can be killed.
Buffy Summers: Great. So all we need is a million tons of burning lava. We're saved.
Angel: Well, it's a start anyway...
[he tries to stand up]
Buffy Summers: Ok, you have been a real klutz today. You need to...
[he falls to the ground]
Cordelia Chase: I can't believe this loser look. I lobbied so hard for the teal. No one ever listens to me, lone fashionable wolf.
Xander Harris: I like the maroon. Has more dignity.
Cordelia Chase: Dignity? You? In relation to clothes? I'm awash in a sea of confusion.
[telling Buffy about a new assignment]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Yes, well, you will go tonight, look over his apartment, anything of note, report back here.
Buffy Summers: I just *love* it when you take charge, you man, you.
[after the Mayor eats the Gavrok spiders]
Mayor Richard Wilkins: My God, what a feeling. The power of these creatures... it suffuses my being... I can feel the changes begin... My organs are shifting, merging, making ready for the Ascension. Plus, these babies are high in fiber, and what's the fun of becoming an immortal demon if you're not regular, am I right?
Buffy Summers: [about Faith] I can't kill her. Fun as it may sound... I can make her cry uncle, though, and I mean to.
Willow Rosenberg: Oh, who am I kidding? I'm not gonna find a spell to stop the ascension. I'm no witch. I can't even change poor Amy back to a person.
[show Amy-rat in her cage]
Oz: But you got the swinging habitrail goin'. I think Amy's in a good place emotionally.
Faith: Still won't help you boy, though... Shoulda been there, B... Quite a ride.
Anya: About eight hundred years ago, in the Kaskov valleys above the Urals, there was a sorcerer there who achieved Ascension. Became the embodiment of the demon Lohesh. I was there cursing a shepherd who'd been unfaithful. His wife had wished that all his sheep would lie wi...
Buffy Summers: Can we cut back to the chase?
Anya: Oh, sorry. Um... Lohesh was... it-it decimated the village within hours. Maybe three people got out.
Mayor Richard Wilkins: Well, you don't have to watch. Just, you know, go home, take it easy. It's a big day tomorrow.
Faith: You gotta give me *something* to do. There's no way I'm sleeping! Don't you need anyone dead? Or maimed? I can settle for maimed.
Mayor Richard Wilkins: [laughs] You little firecracker!
Xander Harris: There is no way I'm getting out of this school alive.
Cordelia Chase: Well, you've really mastered the power of positive giving up.
Xander Harris: I've been lucky too many times. My number's coming up. And I was short! One more rotation, and I'm shipping stateside. You know what I mean?
Cordelia Chase: Seldom if ever.
Buffy Summers: I know you wish I were different.
Joyce Summers: Oh, Buffy, no...
Joyce Summers: But I wish I could be a lot of things for you. A great student, a star athlete, remotely normal... I'm not.
[Percy thanking Willow for help getting a B- on his History and still thinking it was she and not Vamp Willow at the Bronze]
Percy West: Hey, listen, thank you. I mean, for helping me, being so patient... And also, for not kicking my ass like you did in the Bronze.
Willow Rosenberg: You know, Percy, that was actually... for your own good.
[Faith menaces Professor Worth with a knife]
Lester Worth: I'll scream!
Faith: Who wouldn't?