Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV Series)
Bad Eggs (1998)
Quotes
Xander Harris: Can I just say... *gyeurgh*!
Buffy Summers: I see your gyeurgh, and raise you a nargh.
Buffy Summers: [about the egg experiment] I can't do this. I can't take care of things. I killed my Giga Pet. Literally. I sat on it and it broke.
Willow Rosenberg: You'll do fine.
Xander Harris: Yeah, the thing that stresses me is, when do we tell them they're adopted?
[regarding Xander's boiling of his egg 'child']
Rupert Giles: I suppose there is a sort of Machiavellian ingenuity to your transgression.
Xander Harris: I resent that... Or possibly thank you.
Mr. Whitmore: S-E-X. Sex. The sex drive in the human animal is intense. How many of us have lost countless productive hours plagued by unwanted sexual thoughts and feelings?
Xander Harris: Yes! Mm-hmm.
Mr. Whitmore: That was a rhetorical question, Mr. Harris, not a poll.
Rupert Giles: Your playmate is a fellow of repute, it seems.
[showing a picture]
Rupert Giles: It's, erm, Lyle Gorch. And that one's his brother, Tector. They're from Abilene. They, uh, they made their reputation massacring an entire Mexican village in 1886.
Buffy Summers: Friendly little demons.
Rupert Giles: No, it was before they became vampires.
Rupert Giles: Well, but, uh, the good news is that they're, uh, not amongst the great thinkers of our time. I doubt if they're up to much, they're probably just drawn here by the, uh, Hellmouth's energy.
Xander Harris: 'Nuff said! I propose Buffy slays them. All in favour?
Willow Rosenberg: [she and Xander raises their hands] Aye!
Lyle Gorch: I'm gonna beat you like a red-headed stepchild.
Angel: So you don't think about the future?
Buffy Summers: No.
Angel: Never?
Buffy Summers: No.
Angel: You really don't care what happens a year from now? Five years from now?
Buffy Summers: Angel, when I look into the future, all I see is you... All I want is you.
Angel: I know the feeling.
Xander Harris: You gotta take care of the egg. It's a baby. You gotta keep it safe and teach it Christian values.
Willow Rosenberg: My egg is Jewish.
Xander Harris: Then teach it that dreidel song.
Xander Harris: Apparently, Buffy has decided the problem with the English language is all those pesky words.
[on children]
Joyce Summers: They can be such a... Oh, ah, I-I-I don't wanna say "burden", but, uh... Actually, I kind of *do* wanna say "burden".
Willow Rosenberg: Did I really hit you?
Xander Harris: You knocked me out.
Cordelia Chase: Did I hit you?
Xander Harris: Yes. Everyone hit me.
Cordelia Chase: Good. Well, I don't mean good because I hit you, but, I didn't wanna be left out.
Buffy Summers: [to her egg] Good night, Eggbert.
[first lines]
Buffy Summers: Come on, Mom. Please?
Joyce Summers: I'm sorry, honey.
Buffy Summers: Don't you understand how important this is?
Joyce Summers: It's an outfit. An outfit that you may never buy.
Buffy Summers: But... I looked good in it.
Joyce Summers: You looked like a streetwalker.
Buffy Summers: But a thin streetwalker.
[gets a look from her mother]
Buffy Summers: That's probably not gonna be the winning argument, is it.
Buffy Summers: You know, I always say that a day without an autopsy... is like a day without sunshine.
[at the beginning before running away from a fight with Buffy]
Lyle Gorch: This aint over.
[at the end, after Buffy kills the bezoar, climbs out of the pit covered in gore, and faces Lyle Gorch, ready to fight]
Lyle Gorch: All right. it's over.
[then Lyle turns and runs away, again]
