Buffy Summers: You read my diary? That is *not* okay. A diary is like, a person's most private place. I- You don't even know what I was writing about. "Hunk" can mean a lot of things, bad things, and-and when it said that your eyes are penetrating, I meant to write "bulging."
Buffy Summers: And "A" doesn't even stand for "Angel," for that matter. It-It stands for "Achmed," a charming foreign exchange student, so that whole fantasy part has nothing to even do with you at all...
Angel: Your mother moved your diary when she came in to straighten up. I watched her from the closet. I didn't read it, I swear.
Buffy Summers: Oh.
Buffy Summers: Angel.
Buffy Summers: Do you snore?
Angel: I don't know. It's been a long time since anybody's been in a position to let me know.
Angel: When you become a vampire, the demon takes your body, but it doesn't get your soul. That's gone. No conscience, no remorse... It's an easy way to live. You have no idea what it's like to have done the things I've done... and to care.
Buffy Summers: Cool. Crossbow... Huh. Check out these babies... Hmm... Goodbye stakes, hello, flying fatality.
Buffy Summers: If you want Xander, you've got to speak up, girl.
Willow Rosenberg: No, no, no, no. No speaking up. That way leads to madness and sweaty palms.
Darla: Do you know what the saddest thing in the world is?
Buffy Summers: Bad hair on top of that outfit?
Willow Rosenberg: What about Angel?
Buffy Summers: Angel? I can just see him in a relationship. 'Hi, honey. You're in grave danger. I'll see you next month.'
Willow Rosenberg: He's not around much, it's true.
Buffy Summers: When he is around... it's like the lights dim everywhere else. You know how it's like that with some guys?
Willow Rosenberg: Oh, yeah.
Willow Rosenberg: So he *is* a good vampire. I mean, on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being someone who's killing and maiming every night, and 1 being someone who's... not.
Buffy Summers: I invited you into my home, and then you attacked my family.
Angel: Why not? I killed mine. I killed their friends... and their friends' children... For a hundred years, I offered an ugly death to everyone I met. And I did it with a song in my heart.
Angel: I just wanted to see if you were okay... your mother.
Buffy Summers: We're both good. You?
Angel: If I can go a little while without getting shot or stabbed, I'll be all right... Look, this can't...
Buffy Summers: ...ever be anything. I know. For one thing, you're, like, two hundred and twenty-four years older than I am.
Angel: I just gotta... I gotta walk away from this.
Xander Harris: Ah, the post-fumigation party.
Buffy Summers: Okay, so, what's the difference between this and the pre-fumigation party?
Xander Harris: Much hardier cockroaches.
Rupert Giles: There's mention some two hundred years ago in Ireland of-of Angelus, the one with the angelic face.
Buffy Summers: They got that right.
Rupert Giles: It seems you encountered the Three. Warrior vampires. Very proud and very strong.
Willow Rosenberg: How is it you always know this stuff? You always know what's going on. I never know what's going on.
Rupert Giles: Well, you weren't here from midnight until six researching it.
Willow Rosenberg: No, I was sleeping.
Xander Harris: Duh. I mean guys would do anything to impress a girl. I-I once drank an entire gallon of Gatorade without taking a breath.
Willow Rosenberg: It was pretty impressive, although later there was an ick factor.
The Master: Do I sense a plan, Darla? Share.
Darla: Angel kills her and comes back to the fold.
The Master: Angel. He was the most vicious creature I ever met. I miss him.
Darla: So do I.
The Master: Why would he kill her if he feels for her?
Darla: To keep her from killing him.
Cordelia Chase: [to Xander] Ouch. Please get your extreme oafishness off my two-hundred-dollar shoes.
Darla: Is there anything better than a natural disaster? The panic, the people lost in the streets. It's like picking fruit off the vine.
Collin: [about Darla] Forget her.
The Master: How dare you? She was my favorite... for four hundred years.
Collin: She was weak. We don't need her. I will bring you the Slayer.
Xander Harris: You're in love with a vampire? What, are you outta your mind?
Cordelia Chase: [walking by] What?
Xander Harris: [to Cordelia] Not vampire.
Xander Harris: How could you love an umpire? Everyone hates 'em!
Cordelia Chase: [to another student] Where did you get that dress? This is a one-of-a-kind Todd Oldham. Do you know how much this dress cost? Is this a knockoff? This is a knockoff, isn't it? Some cheesy knockoff. This is exactly what happens when you sign these free-trade agreements.
The Master: Zachary didn't return from the hunt last night.
Darla: The Slayer.
The Master: Zachary was strong, and he was careful, and still the Slayer takes him, as she has taken so many of my family... It wears thin.