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"Black-Adder II" Potato (TV Episode 1986) Poster

(TV Series)

(1986)

Quotes

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[Blackadder shows Baldrick a potato]

Blackadder: I mean, look at this. What is it?

Baldrick: I'm surprised you've forgotten, my lord.

Blackadder: I haven't forgotten; it's a rhetorical question.

Baldrick: No, it's a potato.

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Queen Elizabeth: [knock at door] Who is it?

Lord Melchett: It is I, your majesty.

Queen Elizabeth: Stop! Close your eyes. Now enter.

[Blackadder and Melchett enter. Melchett has his hand over his eyes]

Queen Elizabeth: [doing a very bad imitation of a sailor] Ahoy there me shivering matey, heave-ho.

[normal voice]

Queen Elizabeth: Right, now open your eyes.

Lord Melchett: [uncovers eyes] Thank you ma'am. And um...

[looks around room]

Queen Elizabeth: [practically squealing with delight] What's the matter Melchie?

Lord Melchett: [very obviously humouring her] Well I beg your pardon your majesty, but I was hoping to greet the gallant young sailor who hallooed me as I came in. Perchance he has hauled anchor and sailed away.

Queen Elizabeth: [mischievously] No. It was me!

Lord Melchett: Majesty! Surely not.

Blackadder: You utter creep.

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Lord Melchett: Ah Blackadder, talking to yourself, I see.

Blackadder: Yes, it's the only way I can be sure of intelligent conversation.

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Queen Elizabeth: It's him. Oh, God. Do I look absolutely divine and regal, and yet and at the same time very pretty and rather accessible?

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Blackadder: It is said, Percy, that the civilized man seeks out good and intelligent company so that by learned discourse he may rise above the savage and closer to God.

Lord Percy: [delighted] Yes, I'd heard that.

Blackadder: Personally, however, I like to start the day with a total dickhead to remind me I'm best.

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Blackadder: I was under the impression that it's common maritime practice for a ship to have a crew?

Captain Rum: Opinion is divided on the subject.

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Lord Percy: Now, Edmund. If you're not careful, all the children will dance around your window singing Sourpuss and Grumpyface and you don't want that, now do you?

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Blackadder: I have better things to do than listen to Sir Rather-A-Wally Raleigh.

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Queen Elizabeth: Oh, and Edmund was right. You do smell like fish. PHOOHEY!

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Balladeer: Blackadder! Blackadder! He heard the new world call. / Blackadder! Blackadder! Discovered bugger all!

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Blackadder: By the day after tomorrow, we shall be in Calais! Captain, set sail for France!

Captain Rum: Aye Aye, sir!

[the day after the day after tomorrow]

Blackadder: So you don't know the way to France either?

Captain Rum: No, I must confess that too

[Blackadder nods. Takes in this important information]

Blackadder: Bugger

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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