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"Bewitched" Long Live the Queen (TV Episode 1967) Poster

(TV Series)

(1967)

Quotes

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Darrin Stephens: Well, I'm just not going to stand for it in my house. If I have to, I won't go home for a year!

Stranger: It's just about a year since I've been home.

Darrin Stephens: I mean it, I... It is?

Stranger: I never should've told my mother-in-law to get out of the house! She owns it.

Darrin Stephens: You hadn't seen your family in all that time?

[the bartender rolls his eyes. The stranger begins sobbing]

Stranger: I went back once about six months ago. My kid didn't recognize me; and the dog bit me and he's my dog!

[the stranger drops his head on the counter and sobs some more]

Bartender: Comes in every night and cries like that.

Darrin Stephens: Wow.

Bartender: You know, pal, this job gives me a chance to see some pretty good observations. Now he thinks his mother-in-law's a holy terror and you think your wife's queen of the witches. But if the truth be it known, they all got their good points. Right, pal?

Darrin Stephens: They sure do, pal. They sure do.

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Endora: Samantha! It's almost midnight and the transformees will be arriving! You should be getting into your robes!

Samantha Stephens: I thought I heard a car.

Endora: Look, if he comes back, he comes back. If he doesn't, we'll open a bottle of champagne.

[Samantha rolls her eyes and walks away]

Endora: Well, I thought that was rather a good idea.

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Samantha Stephens: Oh, Darrin, I'm sorry.

Darrin Stephens: Sam, I want you to abdicate.

Samantha Stephens: What?

Darrin Stephens: I want you to quit!

Samantha Stephens: But I can't, I just took the oath of office!

Darrin Stephens: Okay, you said you couldn't refuse the crown, okay! You've been queen for a day, that's enough!

Samantha Stephens: No it isn't.

Darrin Stephens: I say it is!

Samantha Stephens: I have to serve for at least a year.

Darrin Stephens: You didn't tell me that!

Samantha Stephens: I didn't? Oh... well I, uh, uh, um, um, well I guess you didn't ask. Oh now, Darrin, please b-be reasonable. A year isn't very long. You'll see how quickly it'll pass, then I'll quit.

Darrin Stephens: In that case, call me in about a year! I'll be at Joe's!

Samantha Stephens: Joe's?

Darrin Stephens: Joe's Bar & Grill!

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Darrin Stephens: I tell ya a man can take just so much then he has got to walk.

Stranger: You're so right.

Darrin Stephens: "It's just for a year," she says. "Okay," I say, "Call me in about a year. I'll be at Joe's Bar & Grill."

Stranger: I know how you feel. I've got a problem with my wife too - her mother.

Darrin Stephens: With all due respect, friend, your problem can't be as bad as mine. My wife is queen of the witches!

Stranger: She can't be! My mother-in-law's got that job!

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