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"Angel" In the Dark (TV Episode 1999) Poster

(TV Series)

(1999)

Quotes

Spike: [as Rachel] How can I thank you, you mysterious black-clad hunk of a night thing?

Spike: [as Angel] No need, little lady, your tears of gratitude are enough for me. You see, I was once a badass vampire, but love and a pesky curse defanged me. And now, I'm just a big, fluffy puppy with bad teeth.

[Rachel's about to touch Angel's hair]

Spike: No, not the hair. Never the hair.

Spike: [as Rachel] But there must be some way I can show my appreciation?

Spike: [as Angel] No, helping those in need's my job, and workin' up a load of sexual tension and prancing away like a magnificent poof is truly thanks enough.

Spike: [as Rachel] I understand. I have a nephew who's gay, so...

[gasps]

Spike: [as Angel] Say no more. Evil's still afoot. And I'm almost out of that nancy-boy hair-gel I like so much. Quickly, to the Angel-mobile, away.

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Angel: Oz.

Oz: Angel.

Angel: Nice surprise.

Oz: Thanks.

Angel: Staying long?

Oz: Few days.

[long pause]

Allen Francis Doyle: [to Cordelia] They always like this?

Oz: No, we're usually laconic.

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Spike: Speakin' of little Buff, I ran into her recently. Your name didn't come up. Although, she has been awful busy jumpin' the bones of the very first lunkhead who came along. Good-lookin' fella. Used her shamelessly. She is cute when she's hurting.

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Cordelia: This is so cool! I mean, here you are in LA, and you're the total embodiment of all things Sunnydale.

Oz: It's a burden, but I manage.

Cordelia: We have some serious catching up to do! How is everything? How's - how's the bronze?

Oz: The same.

Cordelia: And the gang?

Oz: They're good.

Cordelia: Good? - Good! - Good.

[They look at each other for a moment]

Oz: Are we done?

Cordelia: Completely.

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Allen Francis Doyle: [about Angel] He's the detective.

Oz: Does he have a hat and gun?

Cordelia: Just fangs.

Oz: Well, that works.

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Angel: [to Oz, after saving the ring] Thanks for the help, man. You were key.

Oz: You're - - incredibly pale.

Cordelia: Look, you should lie down. We should take you home.

Allen Francis Doyle: Just give him a minute

[Angel stares at the sunlight beach in wonder]

Oz: [to Doyle and Cordy] He's very pale. Paler than most people.

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Angel: I don't know about you, but I had a nice day. You know, except for the bulk of it where I was nearly tortured to death.

Allen Francis Doyle: Hey, you stood up.

Angel: Oh, God. I was this close to telling him everything. I mean, on more hot poker and I was giving him the ring, your mom, everything.

[beat]

Angel: How is your mom?

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Allen Francis Doyle: So what, you don't get the ring because your period of self-flagellation isn't over yet? I mean, think of all the daytime people you can help between 9 and 5.

Angel: They have help. The whole world is designed for them. So much so that they have no idea what goes on around them after dark. They don't see the weak ones lost in the night. And the things that prey on them. And if I joined them, maybe I'd stop seeing too.

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Angel: Might as well go home, Spike. The gem of Amarra stays with me.

Spike: Why? Because you are vampire detective now? What's next? Vampire cowboy? Vampire fireman? Oh, vampire ballerina.

Angel: I do like to work with my legs

[Kicks Spike]

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Spike: Cordelia. You look smashing. Did you lose weight?

Cordelia: Yes, there is this great gym at - hey!

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Spike: [after being betrayed by Marcus] Son of a bitch! - I do the work, - I do the digging, - fight off a Slayer, - drive to LA, fire the help, - and what do I get? - ROYALLY SCREWWED, is what! - Well that cinches it. No more partners. From now on I'm my own man. A lone wolf. Sole survivor. Look out, here comes Spike! The baddest mother...

[a beam of sunlight from a hole in the ceiling hits the back of his head and his hair ignites]

Spike: Ahh!

[he ducks and puts his hair out with his hands]

Spike: I really hope they kill each other.

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[to Spike whilst fighting]

Angel: Is this your big strategy for gettin' the ring back?

Spike: I had a plan.

[Hurls Spike onto a car and pins him face first to the bonnet]

Angel: You, a plan?

Spike: A good plan, smart plan, carefully laid out. But, I got bored.

[Spike pushes Angel against a wall]

Spike: All that watching, waiting. My legs started to cramp.

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Cordelia: [Waving invoice] Why are you not rejoicing at our first paying client?

Allen Francis Doyle: 'Cause that's not money in your hand, darlin', that's mail. There's a big difference between that and actually getting paid.

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Marcus: What do you want, Angel?

Angel: House in the country. A good pair of running shoes you can also wear out to dinner.

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Cordelia: This is not a needle in a haystack, this is a needle in Kansas.

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Cordelia: [after rescuing Angel from Spike and Marcus] We need to get him to a hospital.

Oz: I hear you. But which one? They all tend to specialize in humans.

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Spike: Do you two need to be alone or can we get on with the ouchy part?

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Allen Francis Doyle: All I'm saying is, if you and I ever hope to take that cruise to the Bahamas together, we're gonna need a lot more clients with means.

Cordelia: And an alternate reality in which you're Matthew McConaughey.

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Allen Francis Doyle: [after Angel receives the Gem Of Amara, a ring that allows the wearer to become unkillable] Why don't you put it on and, here, I'll stake ya. It'll be fun!

Angel: Maybe later.

Allen Francis Doyle: What, are you out of your mind?

Angel: I said, maybe later.

Allen Francis Doyle: Yeah...

Angel: Doyle!

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Cordelia: See girl in distress. See Angel save girl from druggy-stalker-boyfriend.

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Allen Francis Doyle: Think of it, man, poolside tanning, bargain matinees, plus, there are several strip clubs I know of that have a fabulous luncheon buffet that's really quite tasty. It's - I've heard.

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Cordelia: I think the trick is laying off the ale before you start quoting Angela's Ashes and weeping like a baby-man.

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Cordelia: I couldn't get comfortable here if the floor was lined with mink. I mean, how can you live like this?

Allen Francis Doyle: Well, I didn't until last week. Then I saw what you did with your place. I just had to call my decorator.

Cordelia: No way! My apartment is nowhere near this yucky! It smells like bong-water in here.

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Spike: Caught me fair and square, white hat. Guess there's nothin' to do now but go along quietly and pay my debt to society.

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Allen Francis Doyle: I betcha he's hangin' 10 off the sandy shores of Malibu right about now. Wind in his hair, bikini babes a-whistlin'.

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Spike: It's called addiction, Angel. We all have them. I believe yours is named Slutty the Vampire Slayer.

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Spike: To coin a popular Sunnydale phrase, "Duh."

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Spike: [after Marcus stabs Angel with a hot poker] Someone's having shish kabob.

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Marcus: You did terrible things when you were bad, didn't you? And now you're trying so hard to do good. But Angel, there is nothing either bad or good but thinking makes it so.

[some of the chair Spike shattered has formed a handy stake on the floor near Angel's foot which he strains to conceal from Marcus while his back is turned]

Marcus: Now, I can make the pain go away.

[he pulls a red hot poker out of Angel, making him scream in agony]

Marcus: And as you know, I can bring it back again.

[he pulls the other, and Angel screams again]

Marcus: What do you want, Angel? I think I know but I'd like to hear it from you. The truth... I'll know if you're lying.

[he walks over to Angel, waiting for the answer]

Angel: [this is difficult, but Angel gives him the answer] I want...

[Marcus leans in]

Angel: ... forgiveness.

Marcus: [pleased] Yes, that's the truth. And you want to earn it. You're not the type who takes the easy way out, which is why I like you so much. In the end, you won't feel guilt... or remorse... or anything but pure darkness. In the end... the ring... the past... none of it will mean anything anymore. You'll be free. I promise.

Angel: And I promise... to kill you.

[Angel is just about to stake Marcus when Spike returns and takes it away]

Spike: Now, now! Staking the torturer is strictly prohibited.

[for the first time, Marcus's impassive mask slips and he starts to pummel Angel, but Spike holds him back]

Spike: Easy, big fella. We need that ring.

[to Angel]

Spike: Now, you've made him mad. Wouldn't want to be in your chains.

Marcus: [regaining his calm facade] It won't be long now.

Spike: Well, what's say I... grab a pair of needle-nosed pliers and give a hand?

[from outside the warehouse, Angel screams]

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Spike: Enough with the hit-and-quip! Just tell me where the damned ring is.

Angel: It wouldn't go with your outfit.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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