Tanen: What are you, crazy?
H.M. Murdock: Of course I'm crazy, you got me out of a psychiatric ward of a V.A. hospital, stupid!
Royko: Hey! You know what I do to guys who won't shut up? I take me some piano wire and sew their lips together.
H.M. Murdock: That would hurt.
B.A. Baracus: Poor old Murdock. Out there all alone. Being chased by them bounty hunters. If they do anything to him...
Face: B.A., I've never heard you sound so concerned about Murdock.
B.A. Baracus: I'm not concerned! It's just that the crazy fool can't help himself.
Face: Gee, I think we're seeing a whole other side of Mr. Baracus here.
B.A. Baracus: You ain't seeing nothing! Now let's get Murdock.
Murdock: [on the phone with the bounty hunters who are holding Kelly hostage] If you harm one hair on that girl's head, I will not sleep, I will not eat, I will hunt you down, and I will feed your head to the flies.
Murdock: You have to have a boyfriend, you're a pretty girl.
Dr. Kelly Stevens: [blushing] Well, I have never been called pretty.
[Murdock takes her to a mirror and holds it boldly in front of her]
Murdock: Pretty girl!
Dr. Kelly Stevens: [Kelly sees in Murdock's eyes that he has genuine feelings for her, and her voice shows she is genuinely moved] Y... you're crazy, you know that?
Murdock: I know it, but do you?
H.M. Murdock: Now let me ask you a question: if you had a feeling that there was somebody in the back of your van, why, why didn't you tell those guys, why didn't you turn me in?
Kelly Stevens: [indicating her dog] Homer. He didn't chew your head off. I always found animals to be a pretty good judge of character.
H.M. Murdock: [fiddling with a radio] I can't believe this music. What happened to, to, Van Halen, Boy George, Frankie Goes To Hollywood?
Kelly Stevens: Frankie Goes To Hollywood?
H.M. Murdock: You'll love it, it has a great beat to it.
Kelly Stevens: I gotta be honest to you, I've never really liked that kind of music.
H.M. Murdock: What about The Rolling Stones?
Kelly Stevens: Oh, oh, well, I know them, in fact there's a song they did I really like, 'Norwegian Wood'.
H.M. Murdock: That was The Beatles.
Kelly Stevens: [laughs] Oh, well I always get them confused.
Sheriff Bellows: I'll tell you something, Colonel. A church mouse couldn't get across my backyard without us knowing about it.
Col. Decker: Never underestimate the A-Team.
Faceman: B.A., I've never heard you sound so concerned about Murdock.
B.A.: I'm not concerned! It's just that the crazy fool can't help himself.
Faceman: Oh, yeah, gee, well, I can't tell you what this means to me. I mean, here I am actually talking to The Cowboy himself. I mean, Billy Bob, Billy Bob! Can't wait to tell the little old lady, I'll now bet she'll never believe me...
Cowboy Billy Bob: Okay, you saw the Cowboy. Now, why don't you two just make like a gun and shoot outta here, huh?
Faceman: [putting on a Wolfman Jack voice] This is The Faceman sitting in for The Cowboy, yessiree, the Facial Phantom of the airwaves!
Hannibal: They never learn. You gotta know when to hold 'em, and know when to walk away.
Murdock: [to the bounty hunters] Would you mind telling me why you blew a hole in my door?
Orderly: Murdock, there's a visitor here for you.
Murdock: Oh, if it's a bill collector, just tell them... just tell them that I ran out of stamps a couple months ago, they'll understand.
Kelly Stevens: [visiting Murdock at the V.A] Why are you here?
Murdock: That's a long story.
Kelly Stevens: Can we discuss the long story over a pizza?
Murdock: Does it have pepperoni and mushrooms on it?
Kelly Stevens: Well, there's pepperoni but we'll have to make do without the mushrooms.
Murdock: [opens the box lid] You took a bite out of it already!