Dangerous Men (2005) Poster

(2005)

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8/10
Truly awfully great.
vitalogst29 January 2006
I, like most people I assume, wandered into a screening of this film because it fit the time slot and was totally obscure. I went with four other buddies and I must say we were blow away by how unbelievably terrible it was and how much fun we had at the same time. Saw it again on Saturday at the Lamelle Sunset and it was even better the second time. We spoke with John S. Rad, he's taking Dangerous Men on tour and putting out a DVD, Dangerous Men even has a myspace address, everyone should look it up, he also has a dozen more movies and some music and poetry. If anyone you know has seen this movie you will have the keen ability of telling inside jokes at the expense of Dangerous Men for a life time, which is worth it's weight in gold. To sum up, this movie is terrible and obviously John Rad had a tough time figuring out what he really wanted to do, but I feel that future projects, hopefully, can only be better and Dangerous Men is a great time at the theatre even if it's an atrociously awful film.
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1/10
It's No Samurai Cop...
Scott_Mercer9 April 2016
This is one of the worst films I have seen. Not good. Not "bad good." Not "so bad it's good." Just bad. Not quite as bad as The Creeping Terror, Monster-A-Go-Go or The Guy From Harlem, but right up there as one of the premiere entries in the hall of amateurishness.

Unlike in something like Samurai Cop, which has a light tone and jokes in spite of (or more accurately, probably because of) its status as a low budget Lethal Weapon ripoff, Dangerous Men doesn't have any intentional humor (except for maybe the naked guy covering himself up with tree branches) and is trying to be the next Death Wish. Only it fails so miserably on all accounts, it makes Ed Wood look like David Lean.

There is really nothing to recommend it. The writing and directing are horrible. The actors are all painful to look at. Segments shot 20 years apart mean suddenly we're back in 1982, oops no wait, we jumped forward again. The story construction is abysmal and makes no sense, since segments shot decades apart were attempted to be stitched together into a single story (hackmeister Al Adamson was famous for doing this, but at least his movies weren't shot 20 years apart!). The sex scenes are not sexy. And that MUSIC! Not since Mesa of Lost Women has there been a more repetitive, annoying soundtrack. At least that wasn't composed on a Casio keyboard bought on lay-away from Sam Ash Music, like this piece of tripe.

When you're treated to an opening credit sequence promising one person as writer, producer, director, editor, composer, art director and costume designer (at least he didn't make himself the lead actor), you know you're in for trouble. I didn't heed the warning, and I paid the price. Please heed my warning. Unless you are the most masochistic consumer of z-grade film atrocities imaginable, please stay away from DANGEROUS MEN.
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10/10
The Greatest Film Ever Made...
Fritz-the-Cat26 February 2006
Warning: Spoilers
I have found religion. Dangerous Men has filled the hole in my soul. This is the sort of absurdist film that would be praised beyond all belief if only it were the director's true intention to make the film that Dangerous Men actually turned out to be. No matter how much you hear about this film, nothing can compare to the actual experience. Even if I tell you that mountains explode, people grow beards in 3 seconds, men read from scripts that are plainly visible in the shot, bad guys get knocked out by scalp massages, women transport knives in the cracks of their buttocks, plots are abandoned ten minutes after being formed, title sequences contain no other name than "John S. Rad," nude men dance with cedar leaves in the desert, or that the same "punch...ah!" sound effect is used 24 times in a 30 second period, NOTHING will compare to seeing it all on the big screen. With a soundtrack that I can only describe as "THE Christ IN MUSICAL FORM," Dangerous Men is proof that there is a God. His name is John S. Rad. You deserve all that "special thanks" you gave yourself.
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Yes... its worst than Tommy Wiseau's "The Room"
mrMoogShoes4 December 2005
What is to be said about the movie that would make Ed Wood vomit with rage? This film did not just blindside me, it actually blinded me. The "Dangerous Men" poster boasts itself as an "Unforgettable Suspense, Mystery Drama" (yes "mystery drama" what is it about!?) with pictures of actors who do not occupy more than 20 minutes of screen time! Over half the names of the actors and crew (when not credited to John Rad) are pseudonyms which means this film is fortunate to house or cage such great talent as Melody Wiggins, Paul Arnold, Honey Goldberg, Hunter Person, Gil Gex, Elle Squadrito, and the prestigious Lawrence McNeal III to name too many. People this film is literally inches away from being "Deep Throat" at least thank god it limps out before it can even get that far. Okay bare with me... Filming began in 1985 only to be shut down because of lack of funding or too many actor/actress suicides (we should at least assume so) then in 1995 to be refinanced and reshot in a desperate attempt to resolve the "story" with different characters of no logical connection! Filled with belly button fetishes, nonsensical storytelling and repetitious music that would upstages its pornographic mentors "Dangerous Men" is by far the worst film I have ever seen and trust me, I LOVE "The Room" but Jesus Christ there is only so far a man can go. I've seen it three times to prove to my friends that such a film exists and have vowed never to go again. I mean it. It hurts. I am not writing this review to praise but rather to WARN. Stay away! Trust me. This movie is good for a laugh but really at what cost?
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Has to be seen to be believed
EclecticEnnui1 August 2016
I didn't know about this movie until I came across a negative review of it on rogerebert.com. I read the review and became curious. Well, I've now seen the movie twice. "Dangerous Men" is one of those movies that's so bad it's good, like "The Room" (2003) and "Troll 2". It's a movie that you watch with your friends and talk. Maybe get some snacks, some booze, and some weed.

The movie was made by Jahangir Salehi, but I guess he preferred to use the pseudonym John Rad. Yes, Rad. John Rad is almost the only name in the opening credits and it amusingly appears multiple times along with music that might get stuck in your head. What's the movie about? Good question. It's partly about a woman who's fiancé is murdered by a biker on a beach. She goes with the biker to a motel to have sex, I guess, but she literally pulls a knife out of her ass and kills him. I am not kidding. While in a desert, she hitchhikes with a man who happens to have a gun in his vehicle. He drives off-road and attempts to rape her, but she ends up stealing his vehicle and leaving him in the desert naked. Now, for some reason, the movie keeps following him and, for some reason, he talks to his penis and, for some reason, he sings and dances. Again, I am not kidding. The woman becomes a serial killer who kills men. I guess these men are dangerous, but I'm not entirely sure.

The movie's quite a mess. It jumps around a lot and it's not well edited. There are moments when the movie will just cut to something else, but the editing can be funny. There's a scene with a man talking on the phone and the movie just cuts to him making out with a woman who I think he was talking to on the phone. It's just so odd and surprising that you might as well laugh. There are jump cuts during a sex scene with a man named Black Pepper that I just don't understand. Why is the scene edited this way? It's not stylish. It's amateurish. Well, the whole movie is amateurish. The acting is pretty bad. The fight scenes are incredibly unconvincing. "Miami Connection" has better fighting. Someone in "Dangerous Men" says that Black Pepper has killed more people than the Vietnam War. Um, what? He's killed more people than the people who died in the Vietnam War? Apparently, over a million people died in that war. It would be incredible (and horrible) if someone single-handedly killed over a million people. You might be thinking that the guy who said that is exaggerating, but with this movie, I'm not so sure. When I first saw the movie, the ending confused me. The movie ends abruptly on a rather awkward freeze frame. Not a good way to end your movie.

"Dangerous Men" is entertaining trash. I enjoyed it when I saw it on my own and I enjoyed it more when I saw it with a couple of friends. It's quite amusing. The fighting's amusing, the music's amusing, the naked man in the desert's amusing, etc. I wanna see it again and again.
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7/10
Contrived and impossible to take seriously...although very entertaining
dorsiaslut15 November 2005
What is there to say about Dangerous Men that hasn't already been said about Afghanistan? The filmmaker, John S. Rad, clearly set out to make the worst movie of all time, but it ended up entertaining me more than most films I've seen. When watching it, I felt I was the butt of some sort of Emperor's-New-Clothes joke, but I couldn't help but laugh. The acting and cinematography are reminiscent of the worst After School Special ever made.

If you are willing to put aside the horrible cuts, dubbing, acting, and film-making technique in general, you might enjoy this surreal and absurd piece of work. I found myself forgetting the finished product and instead wondered how Rad convinced these people (especially the women) to take part in such ludicrous and graphic sex scenes, considering there is no chance that anyone ever dreamed that this movie could make any money.

I am glad to see that it is now on IMDb, after a direct challenge from LA Weekly. Even though the attempt to make it so was contrived, it deserves to be a cult classic shown at midnight on screens across the country.
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10/10
Totally Rad...JOHN RAD
Arielg243 December 2005
I've had the pleasure of seeing this opening night, and again a couple weeks later. I can truly see this as the next cult classic. it had me laughing from start to finish. Everything was perfect. Some parts drag a bit, but it is truly an experience. The plot is mind bending, there's really no use of trying to follow it. Throughout the movie you question yourself whether this John Rad guy is for real, or its just a joke. The soundtrack, composed by John Rad himself on an 80s Casio keyboard, is astoundingly genius. I couldn't help but snap my fingers to the rhythm. If you are light-hearted and can easily accept the film for what it is, then you will enjoy watching Dangerous Men.
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2/10
Funny Time Waster
amosduncan_200015 December 2017
Warning: Spoilers
This film has been developing a bit of a cult rep in the area of "so bad it's good" films. The fact that "John Rad" was a bit of an eccentric weirdo seems to have helped the cause. Indeed, the stagijng of the attempted rape/murder is the funniest part. Yes, there are funny bits, and you can't help but giggle a bit at the terrible score. On the whole, though, it's not that different than many a Crown International stinker of a slightly earlier time and not as much fun as many (the great "Death Machines" comes to mind) of them. It could well be that a certain nostalgia for this kiind of terrible film is what propels this cult. The triumph of the film being in one theater for a week seems to what has sparked a lot of interest. in the end, funny, but forgettable.
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