In the ironically named city of Paradise, a recently laid-off loser teams up with his cult-leading uncle to steal a peculiar bounty of riches from their local amusement park; somehow, the recently arrived Taliban have a similar focus, but a far more sinister intent.
Bill Williamson is back, alive and well and doing a recon mission around D.C. This time he wants to cause a major population disruption within the USA which result in devastating ... See full summary »
Director:
Uwe Boll
Stars:
Brendan Fletcher,
Bruce Blain,
Loretta Walsh
A modern day assassin, wanting out, is hired for one final job: to kidnap the kids of a local businessman. Things go haywire when it turns out he's chosen to return to the Middle Ages and bring back order to a kingdom in chaos.
In the eighteenth century, a vampire escapes from the freak show, in which she once participated, and teams up with a group of vampire slayers to kill the man who raped her mother.
Director:
Uwe Boll
Stars:
Kristanna Loken,
Ben Kingsley,
Michelle Rodriguez
A man named Farmer sets out to rescue his kidnapped wife and avenge the death of his son, two acts committed by the Krugs, a race of animal-warriors who are controlled by the evil Gallian.
American journalists in Sudan are confronted with the dilemma of whether to return home to report on the atrocities they have seen, or to stay behind and help some of the victims they have encountered.
Director:
Uwe Boll
Stars:
Kristanna Loken,
David O'Hara,
Noah Dalton Danby
During the Vietnam War [1959-1975] a special US combat unit is sent out to hunt and kill the Viet Cong soldiers in a man-to-man combat in the endless tunnels underneath the jungle of Vietnam. Suicide squads of a special kind.
After a seemingly undead man is bound and buried alive, he digs himself back to the surface and seeks bloody vengeance on those who caused him his suffering.
The story begins with a regular Joe who tries desperately to seek employment, but embarks on a violent rampage when he teams up with cult leader Uncle Dave. Their first act is to heist an amusement park, only to learn that the Taliban are planning the same heist as well. Chaos ensues, and now the Postal Dude must not only take on terrorists but political figures as well.Written by
cgw@mac.com
Rated R for extremely crude humor throughout, including strong sexuality, graphic nudity, violence, and for pervasive language and some drug use| See all certifications »
Uwe Boll shot only 3 to 5 takes of every scene. He thought that comedy's biggest strength is the emotion behind the acting, which cannot be maintained when there are too many takes. See more »
Goofs
In Little Germany, while the female reporter is talking and the camera pans around the dead children, a child in a blue and white checkered shirt is breathing. See more »
Quotes
[first lines]
Asif:
Congratulations, Nabi. We are at the doorstep of our martyrdom.
Nabi:
Praise Allah.
Asif:
Praise him! Soon, we will be greeted by Allah, the one true god... and by the cheers of our fore fathers... and by ninety-nine perfect virgins who will worship us... for ALL eternity!
Nabi:
[pause]
I thought it was one hundred.
Asif:
What's that?
Nabi:
One hundred virgins. They promised me one hundred.
Asif:
Ninety-nine, one hundred. What's the difference?
Nabi:
If they're telling you one thing and they're telling me another, maybe ...
[...] See more »
Alternate Versions
The rated and unrated versions of the movie miss some scenes from the original cut that was shown in Germany. Those include (but not only):
Richard telling that an follower of D.O.O.M. works at Little Germany and will smuggle them in.
While the Taliban walk to their van to get to Little Germany, Osama yells "Shotgun" so he can sit on the front seat.
A sleepy Uncle Dave getting woken by Dude so he'll go to Little Germany too.
Longer suncream scenes.
Dude telling Richard to stop speaking with a queer German accent on the walkie. Followed by an conversation between Dude and Dave about Richard's retard-status.
Extended report of what happened with the Little Germany Security Guards.
Communication problems between Osama and Mohammed about the van that is parked outside.
Mohammed telling the Taliban that Tariq knows where Dave and his girls live, because he visits them frequently.
Instead of just announcing the show "They had it coming" about the victims of 9/11, they showed portions of it before the Taliban switched channels.
Dave not believing Richard believes the stuff he wrote in his Bible when he was stoned.
Dude trying to defend himself in the bunker, but getting beat down by Starr.
Dave promising he won't smoke anything again if that makes Richard happy.
When Mohammed asks for volunteers to wear an explosive belt, a Taliban volunteers Mohammed. But Mohammed declines, saying he would be happy to do so, but it is forbidden to him.
The Taliban congratulate Abdul the retarded Taliban on his "luck".
Seminar guy talks about Side 5 in his book which helps enslaving employees without having to use chains. But for those who want to be on the safe side he also sells chains.
The baby-stroller scene is extended and shows an actual baby inside the stroller.
Mohammed keeps the Taliban from getting out of the van in the final shootout for quite a while, so he can be safe a little longer.
Osama trying to get some change back from the coin-operated telephone.
Dude feeding his dog with an disembodied hand near the end.
3 of Diamonds
Written by Matt Harris
Performed by Blackjack
Published by Soundcast Music (ASCAP)
Produced by Bad Ass Music
Courtesy of Zero to Sixty/Killer Tracks/BMG See more »
Uwe Boll has done the impossible: create a game adaptation that stays at least somewhat true to the game; he has turned a game full of antisocial and offensive content into a movie full of antisocial and offensive content. So, as an adaptation, it's a success.
Unfortunately, it's still Uwe Boll we are dealing with here, so don't expect the movie to be actually any good. while it does have it's moment, "Postal" wears out his welcome very fast and becomes a pain to sit through.
At its core, Postal is a satire on the United States, as done by a twelve year old kid. Boll seems to think that offensiveness is linearly proportional to comedic value: the more offensive, the funnier, and the more exaggerated the funnier. This results in a movie that sets new levels of tastelessness while being extremely hit and miss. Yes, some gags do work but it seems to be pure luck. High points include the director satirizing himself, and people getting hit very violently by trucks and other vehicles. Low points include..well pretty much everything else.
After the initial surprise wears off, Postal simply becomes a bore to watch. Yes there is a good joke every and good point ten minutes, but everything else consists of hordes of annoying characters shooting and chasing each other all over the place for what seems to be an eternity.
This probably would have worked as a short movie, but it's just not enough content for something that lasts over 90 minutes (although it feels twice as long). There are nice ideas and nice tries, but they get hopelessly lost in endless and pointless action scenes and content that is offensive just for the sake of it 4/10
6 of 9 people found this review helpful.
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Uwe Boll has done the impossible: create a game adaptation that stays at least somewhat true to the game; he has turned a game full of antisocial and offensive content into a movie full of antisocial and offensive content. So, as an adaptation, it's a success.
Unfortunately, it's still Uwe Boll we are dealing with here, so don't expect the movie to be actually any good. while it does have it's moment, "Postal" wears out his welcome very fast and becomes a pain to sit through.
At its core, Postal is a satire on the United States, as done by a twelve year old kid. Boll seems to think that offensiveness is linearly proportional to comedic value: the more offensive, the funnier, and the more exaggerated the funnier. This results in a movie that sets new levels of tastelessness while being extremely hit and miss. Yes, some gags do work but it seems to be pure luck. High points include the director satirizing himself, and people getting hit very violently by trucks and other vehicles. Low points include..well pretty much everything else.
After the initial surprise wears off, Postal simply becomes a bore to watch. Yes there is a good joke every and good point ten minutes, but everything else consists of hordes of annoying characters shooting and chasing each other all over the place for what seems to be an eternity.
This probably would have worked as a short movie, but it's just not enough content for something that lasts over 90 minutes (although it feels twice as long). There are nice ideas and nice tries, but they get hopelessly lost in endless and pointless action scenes and content that is offensive just for the sake of it 4/10