London Dreams

A rags-to-riches cautionary tale straight off the Bollywood assembly-line, "London Dreams" is a lengthy, superficial account of an orphaned Indian émigré who finds that life as a rising British pop star isn't all it's cracked up to be.

This cliché-ridden film pads out its interminable two-and-a-half-hours-plus running time with overheated melodrama, soul-searing angst, bloated musical numbers, and cutesy slapstick routines. And, of course, it's overflowing with that kind of self-congratulatory smugness that seems to be the hallmark of so many of the commercial films coming out of India these days.

The movie does take us to many colorful London locales – befitting a wide-eyed tourist from abroad - but one could get pretty much the same effect using Google street view and not have to put up with all the drama.