2.8/10
303
7 user 4 critic

The Thirst: Blood War (2008)

Trailer
1:43 | Trailer
Will is a hippie college student who finds himself in the middle of a battle between vampires and a group of warlocks called Sentries; but when he's bitten by a seductive vampire he's ... See full summary »

Director:

Tom Shell

Writer:

Ramesh Thadani
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Cast

Cast overview, first billed only:
Tony Todd ... Julien
A.J. Draven ... Will Hawkins
Jason Connery ... Claudius
Allison Lange ... Jayne
America Olivo ... Amelia
Owiso Odera ... Rico
Rini Bell ... Ashley
Cameron Zeidler ... Darren
Nick Holmes ... Jason Pierce
Stephanie Lemelin ... Laurie
Mark Ryan ... Reeve
Bill Doyle ... Titus
Jarrad Hewett Jarrad Hewett ... Aldren
C. Thomas Howell ... Jed
Mark Holton ... Earl
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Storyline

Will is a hippie college student who finds himself in the middle of a battle between vampires and a group of warlocks called Sentries; but when he's bitten by a seductive vampire he's forced to come to terms with his new state of being... Written by The Editor

Plot Summary | Add Synopsis

Taglines:

Will Hawkins is a champion. He just doesn't know it yet.


Motion Picture Rating (MPAA)

Rated R for some violence and a sex scene | See all certifications »
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Details

Country:

USA

Language:

English

Release Date:

11 November 2008 (USA) See more »

Also Known As:

Blood Wars See more »

Filming Locations:

Los Angeles, California, USA See more »

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Box Office

Budget:

$1,000,000 (estimated)
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Company Credits

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Technical Specs

Runtime:

Sound Mix:

Dolby Digital

Color:

Color | Color (hd)

Aspect Ratio:

1.85 : 1
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User Reviews

 
The nadir of the vampire craze
9 March 2010 | by anxietyresisterSee all my reviews

Wow, where do start with this pile of shiz..

1. Who the hell plays on a PS1 in 2008?!

2. Tony Todd has officially extinguished all the goodwill he mustered by playing the Candyman and Captain Sisco's dad. He isn't so much slumming it here as eating fish bones from the dumpster.

3. This well oiled six-pack hunk in the lead might be able to fill out a white T-shirt, but an actor he ain't. Evertime he opens his mouth, you want to curl up in embarrassment. Oh. dear.

4. Who writes this dialogue anyway? Someone call child labour on these producers: I think they're illegally employing a bunch of kindergärtners to do their screenplay for them.

5. Where's the 'sexy seductress' promised in the plot synopsis? You don't mean the ugly old tart wrapped in cling-film, with more botox than Jane Fonda do you? Whoops.

6. The fight scenes are ssoooo pathetic, they should play an instrumental of Kung Fu Fighting in the background, and pretend it's supposed to be a comedy.

7. There is a highly camp black best friend who calls everyone dawgs and has a secret funky handshake with Mr Muscle. He might as well have STEREOTYPE tattooed on his head. But get this.. HE DOESN'T DIE. AMAZING.

8. Tru Blood, Twilight, Vampire Chronicles.. ENOUGH ALREADY. Especially when the end result is as dismal as it is here.

9. The Thirst: Blood War? That title.. SUCKS (Pun intended ho ho)

10.Seriously guys.. what's the deal with the PS1?!

The director is called Tom Shell, which is quite apt as you'll feel like a shell of a person after submitting yourself to this drivel. It also concludes with the threat of a sequel, to which I can only respond with the Wilheim Scream our hunk unleashes just before the end.

It's probably started filming even now, after all it shouldn't take Mr Shell too long to muster up the 7 new pence and half a packet of wine necessary to complete production. And that would still be more than they spent on the original.. 2/10


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