7.3/10
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31 user 19 critic

Pirates (2005)

Swash and unbuckle. In 1763, the Caribbean is awash in pirates. The worst is Stagnetti, backed by his bloodthirsty first mate, Serena. He wants the Scepter of Inca, which gives its owner ... See full summary »

Director:

Joone

Writers:

Joone (screen story), Max Massimo (screenplay)
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13 wins & 11 nominations. See more awards »
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Cast

Cast overview, first billed only:
Jesse Jane ... Jules
Carmen Luvana ... Isabella
Janine Lindemulder ... Serena (as Janine)
Devon ... Madelyn
Teagan Presley ... Christina
Evan Stone ... Capt. Edward Reynolds
Tommy Gunn ... Capt. Victor Stagnetti
Kris Slater ... Manuel Valenzuela
Austyn Moore ... Angelina
Jenaveve Jolie ... Pirate Dancer
Steven St. Croix ... Marco
Nhan Nhan ... Wu Chow
Frank Bukkwyd Frank Bukkwyd ... Oxford
Brian Surewood Brian Surewood ... Gino
Harry Bali Harry Bali ... Priest
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Storyline

Swash and unbuckle. In 1763, the Caribbean is awash in pirates. The worst is Stagnetti, backed by his bloodthirsty first mate, Serena. He wants the Scepter of Inca, which gives its owner great powers. To remove it from remote Calaveras Island, he needs the Dagger of Ataljuapa as well as the aid of a descendant of the family to whom the Scepter was entrusted. So, he kidnaps Manuel Valenzuela, honeymooning with the lovely Isabella. On Stagnetti's trail are pirate hunters, Captain Edward Reynolds and Jules, his commander. Edward's a bit clueless, but he does rescue Isabella. Once Stagnetti has the Dagger, the stage is set for the clash of good and evil. Written by <jhailey@hotmail.com>

Plot Summary | Add Synopsis

Genres:

Adult | Adventure

Motion Picture Rating (MPAA)

Rated R for strong sexual content, nudity and language | See all certifications »

Parents Guide:

View content advisory »
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Details

Official Sites:

Official site

Country:

USA

Language:

English

Release Date:

26 September 2005 (USA) See more »

Also Known As:

Pirates XXX See more »

Filming Locations:

Los Angeles, California, USA See more »

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Box Office

Budget:

$1,000,000 (estimated)
See more on IMDbPro »

Company Credits

Show more on IMDbPro »

Technical Specs

Runtime:

| (R Rated)

Sound Mix:

Dolby Digital (Dolby Surround 5.1)

Color:

Color

Aspect Ratio:

1.78 : 1
See full technical specs »
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Did You Know?

Trivia

The movie contains over 300 effects shots. See more »

Goofs

[All goofs for this title are spoilers.] See more »

Quotes

Capt. Edward Reynolds: Fuck that shit, run!
See more »

Alternate Versions

In the United Kingdom, the distributors were forced to make extensive cuts (removing 1hr 34min) in order for it to be passed at R18. The cuts removed material deemed to be abusive and potentially harmful - sight of a knife blade pressed on nipple / breast and character's bound and gagged while engaging in sexual activity. These cuts were implemented as it was deemed that the performers were incapable of giving or withdrawing consent. Additional cuts were also required to remove sight of urination during masturbation as this was deemed to breach the Obscene Publications Act 1959. See more »

Connections

Referenced in The Cinema Snob: Debbie Does Dallas (2013) See more »

Soundtracks

Tomorrow Doesn't Love Me Very Much
Original Music by Skin Muzik sm
Music Composed by Christopher Hart, Steven Berlin, Mr. Anderson
See more »

Frequently Asked Questions

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User Reviews

 
Erotic pirate film plays well even when you remove the sex
3 September 2006 | by dbborroughsSee all my reviews

Its a pirate porn movie thats actually plays as a decent little movie.

Sue me I liked this film. I'm not sure I liked it because its better than most adult films or because its a good movie in its own right. Certainly the fact the film can have 40 minutes of sex removed and have it survive says a great deal(The full version runs over two hours). Better than many soft-core trash films that play late night on cable this is actually a movie I'd want to see again.

The plot has something to do with a pirate captain wanting to get a magical Incan scepter that will give him great power to this end he kidnaps a recently married man who holds the key to the hereabouts of the scepter and throws the wife overboard. He is pursued by some pirate hunters who pick up the wife and remain close on the heels of the villains.

What can I say the acting is wildly uneven, but the cast is still game. The effects are uneven, but serviceable (and provide a great homage/spoof with a marvelous riff on the skeleton scene in Jason and the Argonauts). The script is actually reasonably good and properly silly (though with some of the cast anything beyond silly might have been a stretch). I'm guessing in mainstream hands this might have been a successful pirate action film.

My only real complaint is that all of the main women look about the same, large breasted blonds of similar stature and builds. They all pretty much blend together. Its an odd thing to do when the film tries very hard to be something other than a stereotypical adult film.

If you're tired of the typical late night fare you find on many pay cable stations give this film a try. You will laugh with and at the movie, especially if you keep in mind the fact that its source is an adult film.


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