The Smurfs

Vapid and tedious, this big screen outing for the beloved eighties cartoon characters (although the movie is based on the earlier comics, not the show) is an exercise in patience, tolerance and staying awake. With a yawn-inducing plot, achingly bad jokes and an excruciating overuse of the word "smurf" ("Smurf-tastic", "No smurfing way" etc etc), the easy-to-please youngsters may find something to enjoy but parents will either be scratching their eyeballs out or catching up on some much needed sleep – depending on their mood at the time. I'm prepared to sit through most kiddie flicks with a smile on my face for the sake of my children, but that's virtually impossible when the film is such a big, steaming pile of smurf.