The Cottage (2008) Poster

(2008)

User Reviews

Review this title
89 Reviews
Sort by:
Filter by Rating:
7/10
Serkis in undeniably the star of this film
jess-15412 February 2008
Director Paul Andrew Williams wanted to "write a film that cost no money and was all set in one place". And the first sixty or so minutes stuck to this agenda pretty well; Two brothers kidnap the daughter (Jennifer Ellison) of a wealthy man, he sends out two crazy Chinese guys to kill them, nerdy brother Peter (Reece Shearsmith) looses the all important mobile phone and older hard-man brother David (Andy Serkis) swears a lot, all in the confines of a deserted cottage. The dialogue is just about snappy enough to keep this interesting. Not much to be said for the camera work – but it does kinda add to the atmosphere. And then they end up in another cottage and the blood bath begins.

It's pretty obvious why they cast Ellison: she has big bouncy boobs and her harsh liverpoodlian accent is juxtaposed perfectly with her blonde hair and Barbie doll face. No one really cares that her script rarely ventures beyond words too rude to publish here – the camera generally focuses on her chest/backside with the occasional headbut thrown in. Shame really; I was hoping she'd amaze us all with her diverse acting talent, but I guess it's a case of you can take the girl out of Brookside but you won't get an amazing actress out of a soap star.

Serkis in undeniably the star of this film. The perfect gangster with a heart, his sincerity and charm kept me watching throughout. I'm not entirely sure why he chose to do The Cottage – perhaps, like me, he was hoping this would be one of those rare things; a funny independent British comedy. But unfortunately it just felt like Williams had taken The Chain Sore Massacre and Hot Fuzz, cut out the best bits, stuck the leftovers in a blender and then forgot to cook it properly.

By all means go see this if you like blood, guts and rolling heads, just don't expect any intellect in the script.
43 out of 62 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? | Report this
8/10
Well worth a visit!
Superbeasto24 February 2008
British horror movies have always had a unique sense of humour, with "Severance" being a good recent example of savvy brit film-makers throwing laughs and gore together to great effect. This carries on that tradition, and in Reece Shearsmith they're blessed with an actor whose comic chops are well up to scratch. Andy Serkis is no slouch either, playing the straight man brilliantly as a mobster who's hard as nails but a little fuzzy on the inside.

The laughs are pretty reliable, and as the situation goes from bad to worse a lot of those laughs come from the (severe) misfortune of the poor souls on screen, and the blend of splatter and slapstick is well tuned. Jennifer Ellison does grate after a while, her constant use of swearing amusing at times but often a little irritating. Still, she has a fantastic body on her and that ball shrivellingly tough accent to fall back on, so her presence isn't entirely unwelcome. As a comedy it works extremely well, and as a gore movie there's some inventively wince-inducing moments, and with the balance just right "The Cottage" is well worth a visit.
41 out of 59 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? | Report this
6/10
Mindless, twisted mayhem!
shady40227 April 2008
The best way to sum up this film is 'interesting...!' The violence, blood and gore is fantastic. If you want to see people decapitated and hacked to bits and want to laugh at the same time, this recent British horror comedy is definitely for you. The main characters are fun, likable and witty, Andy Serkis is fantastic, the dialogue is hilarious and the film is just entertaining from start to finish.

However, the storyline is quite simply all over the place. It's an incoherent mess to be exact! The film just twists and turns in different directions raising a number of questions, which it then leaves unanswered. Characters and subplots are introduced and then forgotten about. However, I'm guessing most people would not want to see this for the plot so if you just want some mindless, gory fun, go and see this.
24 out of 33 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? | Report this
8/10
Horrific fun! Reece Shearsmith shines in excellent black comedy
LittleScarletBlue5 February 2008
Warning: Spoilers
'The Cottage' is an intriguing, genre mixing film, full of twists and turns - an exhilarating 90 minutes. Its gory and funny but one that anchors the splatter comedy to deftly drawn characters enduring a heightened reality one hell of a night.

The nightmarish black comic horror is skillfully delivered, with the gorefest conventions given a darkly comic twist. The film's tongue-in-cheek exuberance humorously balances the grisly nature of the horrific injuries that are inflicted on screen.

What makes 'The Cottage' so distinctive is the unusual approach it takes for a film where a gore infested climax is the pay off. At the heart of the film, and what makes the film stand out for me, is the emotional investment in the two main characters. You really do end up caring what happens to its key protagonists, the brothers David and Peter.

There is an emotional depth about them that made me wish even more time could have been spent with the pair, their arguments and interplay, exploring their relationship and its bickering background.

The relationship between the brothers, brilliantly played by Andy Serkis and Reece Shearsmith, is a highlight of the film. Their fraught fraternal relationship has a believability about it which grabs you from the moment they appear on screen & the scenes between them crackle with tension, humour and emotion.

Serkis's character is one used to being in control, but his tough, hard streetwise nature is under pressure almost immediately as the kidnapping plan begins to unravel, giving way to repressed anger and growing frustration.

Although Andy Serkis's David is forced out of his comfort zone as the plot unfolds, Reece Shearsmith's Peter is out of his depth from the start, reluctantly brought into a world he knows nothing about and ill equipped to deal with it at any level. His timidity is accompanied by a moralising disapproval of his brother.

Into this mix are thrown two more characters, the kidnapped Tracey and her black sheep stepbrother Andrew (nicely played by Jennifer Ellison and Steven O'Donnell) They are the natural comic grotesques of the movie, hindering and exasperating by extreme measures, a contrasting comic counterpoint to the carefully delineated characters of David and Peter. Much of the comedy comes from the dynamics of their enforced relationship and how they react to the ever worsening situation they find themselves thrust into.

Both the quarrelsome brothers are superbly played, but Reece Shearsmith is truly outstanding. His performance is beautifully nuanced with great comic timing and skillful characterisation. Peter is by turns wimpish, pernickety, argumentative, pathetic, vulnerable. He's hilariously yet tragically out his depth. Shearsmith's performance really holds the film together - it's brilliantly subtle and multi-layered. He brings so much to the role, not only comedically but emotionally too. He gives the film its heart, its pathos.

The bloody battlefield climax at the farmhouse sees the gory finale delivered with aplomb - the comedy and horror unfold with beautiful pace and precision.

Even here, amid the bloodletting, there is a moment of the unexpected and unusual which makes 'The Cottage' stand out. Its a low key, almost poetic scene which seals a growing understanding between the brothers. The badly injured pair contemplate their demise as they look up at a star filled night sky. Its a moment of humanity amid the carnage, sad and touching because its a hoped for reconciliation that will never happen.

'The Cottage' is a very entertaining blending of comedy and horror with a depth not usually associated with the genre and its directed with real confidence and verve.

There is a sense of sadness in the midst of the horrific fun of 'The Cottage' which lingers in the memory afterwards because its central characters matter and you care what happens to them - a rarity for the horror genre which marks the film out.

Its original approach, well evoked atmosphere, at times comically and bloody surreal , the blackly ironic pitch and top notch performances by the two leads, especially a brilliant Reece Shearsmith, make 'The Cottage' a comedy horror whose genre blending works a memorable treat!
29 out of 42 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? | Report this
8/10
Well regardless of the IMDb score i thought it was a good film.
postmanvendetta15 March 2008
Warning: Spoilers
Original no. Tasteful no. But this film is still worth seeing. The films plot line revolves around a wannabe gangster, his sissy brother and a big fat dumb bloke, kidnapping this big gangsters daughter in order to hold her off for a ransom of 100,000 pounds. However things go terribly wrong and eventually after a slow but subtly funny beginning (the two brothers act it out like a bickering married couple and the fat dumb bloke cant help but to make you smile) the main characters stumble across this cottage hosted by a deformed, demented farmer who in many cringe-worthy ways (i.e heads getting split in 2 by garden spades) picks them off. Like i said it was never going to win awards for originality, but i laughed at this film in the same way i did to Shaun of the dead, which to me makes it worhty for at least one viewing, but people who love black comedies (like me) will definitely want to see this again. YWNA
13 out of 17 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? | Report this
7/10
It's a comedy with bite, right to the end.
Spikeopath14 April 2008
Two brothers, David & Peter, kidnap Tracey, the daughter of local tough guy gangster Arnie, they hold her to ransom for the sum of £100,000. What they hadn't bargained into the equation is that Tracey is one tough feisty lady, and that a turn of events will lead them to something far more scary than big bad gangster Arnie.

This is the second feature from director Paul Andrew Williams, and bearing in mind that his debut effort was the highly lauded gritty drama London To Brighton, it's no surprise to find that some folk are a little bemused as to the genre splicing nature of The Cottage. The Cottage is far more in keeping with Christopher Smith's 2006 horror comedy, Severance, and certainly it wouldn't be out of place as a double bill with that criminally undervalued picture.

Very much a film of two halves, this picture is likely to prove a very divisive piece, and it will {has} only find an audience based on word of mouth alone, you will be hard pressed to find any sort of press marketing that will prepare you for the type of genre fusion film you are getting. Already, based on the comments written on this site thus far, you can see that some people were confused {or annoyed} by the tonal shift for the second half of the film. The first half sees poles apart brothers, David & Peter swapping comedy dialogue as they whisk thru a number of exchanges and circumstances with the marvellously volatile Tracey. Whilst the second part of the picture hits you over the head with a quick switch to horror formula that has catering fulfilment for the gore junkies amongst us. And this is where the problem lays with many, why didn't the film stay as a kidnap farce,? why didn't it set its stall out to be a horror film from the off,? There is no denying that the films high points come with the horror moments, but the film is first and foremost a comedy from the first reel to the cheeky end of credits sequence. And as deliciously sick as the gore shift is, The Cottage never once takes its tongue out of its bloody cheek. It's obvious that Paul Andrew Williams is having fun here and he hopes his audience will as well. View it as an all encompassing comedy/horror/thriller in that order and you wont go far wrong.

Andy Serkis plays David, the tough brother of the two, with Serkis doing a wonderful line in both visual and vocal comedy. This benefits Reece Shearsmith as Peter, a character so far under the thumb he can barely be seen. Shearsmith feeds of Serkis to seal the comedy deal of this odd brotherly couple. British tabloid fave Jennifer Ellison plays Tracey, literally swearing for England to have the audience divided as to if they want her to survive or not! But it's a gutsy show from her and one hopes she ventures into this territory a bit more often. There is nothing new or fresh here, and this wont win any awards even in its homeland of England, but it is FUN, and it shows a director clearly intent on making films from different genres. 7/10
19 out of 27 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? | Report this
10/10
absolutely hilarious movie!!!
peter whitty5 May 2008
I loved this movie, it is definitely my favourite film I have seen this year. I wasn't expecting much as I can't stand Jennifer Ellison, but I was pleasantly surprised. Firstly the first half of the film is funny as hell then the 2nd half is gory as hell but done in a comedy way. The acting is absolutely superb and even I must admit Ellison was perfectly cast even if she did use the "F" word a few too many times. Andy serkis stole the show for me, I didn't know he could act without making stupid noises (Lord of the rings) or being dressed as a 10ft ape (king kong) but in this he is very funny without the CGI. All in all I would recommend this film who doesn't take films too seriously.
19 out of 28 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? | Report this
5/10
Cannot decide what it wants to be
seawalker19 March 2008
You might say that "The Cottage" has opened to less than stellar reviews in the UK. Frankly, this is a slight understatement. The truth of the matter is that "The Cottage" has opened to stinkingly bad reviews in the UK. Just terrible write ups.

Part of the issue the UK critics seem to have with "The Cottage" is that Director Paul Andrew Williams decided to follow up his low budget, gritty, violent and critically lauded thriller "London To Brighton", with a pretty generic horror film. I don't mind that so much. In fact I kind of admire it. As a film fan I see all kinds of films. I would imagine that any film Director started off at some point as a film fan and, as such, would like to have a crack at making all kinds of films. If "The Cottage" had been a masterpiece then it wouldn't have mattered, would it? Just another Director working in a different genre.

Sadly, "The Cottage" is not a masterpiece. Far from it. Slapstick horror is very difficult to pull off, and "The Cottage" does not come close, but it is not the total flop you might think it would be from reading the reviews. I think the problem with "The Cottage" is that it cannot decide what it wants to be. Knockabout kidnapping comedy or knockabout horror comedy? It is a bit of both, but not enough of either. Sad to say it, but all of the best bits are all in the trailer.

Andy Serkis and Reece Shearsmith are fine as the bickering, mismatched brothers and kidnappers: Andy Serkis permanently grumpy and frustrated, Reece Shearsmith, jumpy, under the thumb and a sufferer of Mottephobia. (You can look it up.) Boobilicious, lads mag favourite Jennifer Ellison as the tough as nails kidnap victim was a bit disappointing. I was expecting a lot more from her and didn't get it. Not nearly an energetic enough performance.

I went to see "The Cottage" with my Brother. I got a one word review from him. Sh*t. Maybe that says it all?
17 out of 26 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? | Report this
9/10
The Cottage from HELLarious
atinder16 September 2009
I heard a lot good reviews about movie on Horror sites, i could not wait check out.

I did not think I would like but BUT I Bloodly LOVED it at the end This movie start where two men who are brothers David and Peter have kidnap Tracey.

Peter and David get Tracey who is unconscious from the car boot. As they take her upstairs Peter gets then start look at her chest not realising that she's woke up. She head butts him several times and Peter screams and then David manages to get her off him and has to fix Peter's now as a bloody and broken nose after tying her to the bed.

Start of movie is really funny and it not gory or scary but then turns around half into movie, when it get really gory and it's bit scary.

I didn't expect to be as gory as it was and I did find the killer Scary for a horror comedy movie, it great killer well done with the great Make up effects, it was really good.

This one of best horror movies to come out last year 9/10
7 out of 9 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? | Report this
6/10
"The Cottage" embraces convention, and for the most part, it works.
Mr_Censored13 April 2009
"The Cottage" is really two movies.

One part is a fairly generic but slightly amusing crime-story involving the kidnapping of a voluptuous, foul-mouthed blonde by two brothers. One is a seasoned criminal, while the other is an amateur at best, thus, situational comedy ensues. They take shelter in an abandoned cottage where their hostage gives them a run for their money – literally – and swears up a storm. While this half of the film wants to belong in the same company as "Shaun Of The Dead," it can't, because it's not clever enough and is far too saturated in clichés. Despite some strong performances, the characters are merely stereotypes. It's not the fault of the actors that their characters aren't convincing, though, because in reality, they were written and possibly intended as cardboard cut-outs, meant to service the second half.

Despite a rocky set-up, we get to the second part, a gut-bustingly fun homage to slasher films that would make the likes of Peter Jackson and Sam Raimi proud. When our criminals and guest cross paths with a deformed neighbor, madness ensues. Why no film has been brilliant enough to give its villain a shovel as weapon of choice is beyond me, as the red stuff is spilled in ways that are both shocking and hilarious. Truly, this is where the meat of the flick is. Despite the lack of depth in both story and characters, "The Cottage" does manage to serve up a nice, enjoyable dish of slasher casserole that pays tribute to its influences with some truly inventive slicing and dicing. To be honest, the film would be far more effective if it had played this hand early on, instead of setting up a routine, by-the-numbers premise, but in the end, it'll win you over by its unique "anything-goes" approach to somewhat tired material. It's hardly reinventing the wheel, and is not a flick everyone in the room will appreciate, but as a way to kill 90 minutes, you could do much worse.
7 out of 9 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? | Report this
5/10
Occasionally funny...but I really wouldn't bother.
DJ Graham17 March 2008
Comment declaration: I am a genuine viewer with no intention of distorting the IMDb ratings to make people go and watch it (yes...the PR corruption of this website annoys me). Anyway...

For some reason I fell for the hype and thought this would be something different. I went along to the Kino on my own and had a big bowl of popcorn ready for the best of British.

The film started very predictably and there was nothing new standing out. No interesting camera work, script or imagination.

I like Serkis and Ellison and I reckon they both did an OK job. I liked the way Ellison didn't give a hoot how she looked on camera. Flab, bad skin and cellulite...it was all there. Good to see she is a pro about the acting and not just glossy. Her character was mean and moody and made me smile. But it was all predictable physical comedy that relied a lot on the "C" word. Not a nice word to use a lot.

I was aware it was going to be a kidnap followed by a killer but I couldn't work out the twist...and then I found out there just wasn't one. It was just plain and predictable with some very dull gore scenes. There is nothing new at all worth mentioning here. No imagination or attempt to break the cliché. As for the ending...well I really didn't see the point. Very flat and I was glad I could go.

I would like to say I was left with more questions than answers but it was just such a non-event that I really didn't give it a seconds thought.

How will I remember this film? Serkiss looked very mean. Ellison was nastily funny and had a great bod in the back of the car. Very odd second half that didn't really go anywhere.

Very very disappointing. Rating 5/10 (because the head butting scene made me smile).
38 out of 71 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? | Report this
6/10
thoughts such as "for better or worse" comes to mind
beregic17 May 2008
i guess i should call it a sarcastic horror-comedy show with "vintage" elements. it actually starts as a kidnapping thriller and ends up as a "traditional" horror. only the last 30 minutes could be considered as "horror".

a few things must be said. the pace of the movie is slow and sometimes very slow. but if you keep that in mind and you are in mood for some "dark" comedy you might as well enjoy it as i did.compared to "Shaun of the Dead" is not as funny but a bit more scarier. something to watch out of boredom and it might entertain you in that case( like when you busy with something else and need a background distraction that WILL get at least a few "gigs" out of you). overall i was not disappointed.this feature is missing a defined plot and i am not sure what that "point" would have been here( or could have), other then some really funny sarcastic jokes and some gore.

the main actor to watch here is Andy Serkis as one of the 2 brothers and the mastermind before the kidnapping.he does some great acting when everything goes wrong and it is quiet funny to watch him deal with his naturally idiotic brother( which at one point even personalizes Hitler, literally, but the character does not seem to be aware of that). there are also a few other characters but they not contribute much to the plot except for the "bad" one. the soundtrack is actually excellent in creating those horror "vintage" moods.
11 out of 18 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? | Report this
5/10
A tale of mixed halves....
kevin_crighton18 March 2008
The Cottage tells the story of two brothers, (Andy Serkis & Reece Shearsmith), who have kidnapped the step-daughter (Jennifer Ellison) of a gangster. Taking her to a cottage in the woods they wait for the ransom. But what they find out there is something worse than the wrath of a gangster...

The Cottage is a horror/comedy written and directed by Paul Andrew Williams. He's tried to make a movie that turns into something different around half-way through. It's a pity that it doesn't work.

The first half of the movie at the Cottage isn't bad, and has some nice humour in it, for example the nerdier brother (Shearsmith) trying to be tough is quite amusing.

As a fan of horror movies however, I actually was a bit disappointed when the horror and gore side kicked in. Not that the gore and bloody violence isn't convincing, but that for me part of the problem was that as none of the characters were that likable to begin with, you don't really care about what happens to them.

This is a pity. Williams directs his own script well, staging the violence well, but it's his own writing that lets it down.

Horror/Comedy movies are hard to pull off. Evil Dead 2 works. Shaun Of The Dead works. An American Werewolf In London works. Dog Soldiers works(I do find it very funny).

Sadly though, The Cottage doesn't.
16 out of 30 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? | Report this
8/10
Fun...Gory....Great
I thoroughly enjoyed this film.... Don't go into this expecting a horror fest...it is more in the mold of a Sean of the dead type of film.

Andy Serkis is great but for me the star is Reece Shearsmith as David, his character is so funny and Jennifer Ellison also provides great entertainment if a little too much swearing... All in all I really enjoyed this and the whole cinema was laughing loudly at certain parts whilst jumping out of their skins in others. Very Gory as well in parts I am sure if you are a fan of British cinema you will enjoy this movie as much as I did.
15 out of 28 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? | Report this
9/10
Hysterical, but hardly a horror movie
incubusalex25 March 2008
I really liked this movie, up until around the fifty minute mark. To tell the truth, I'm not a horror fan at all so I was in it for the comedy, which I think it did really well! The setup and chemistry between the leads was really well done, the writing and pacing for the whole first half was great. All of the scenes with Jennifer Ellison were hysterical, especially if you happen to be a scouser yourself.

It fell flat towards the end, though. The balance between horror and comedy just sort of fell through and it turned into a really poor horror movie. The ending was a total letdown.

Still, it's the most entertaining thing I've watched this year, and I'd definitely recommend it to anybody with a sense of humour.
22 out of 45 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? | Report this
7/10
Great comedy and greater horrors await you at The Cottage.
Cinema_Fan18 March 2008
Warning: Spoilers
Take television comedy actors Reece Shearsmith ("The League of Gentlemen"), Steve O'Donnell (Kevin and Perry Go Large 2000) one movie star Andy Serkis (The Lord of The Rings 2001 - 2003) and director and writer Paul Andrew Williams (London to Brighton 2006) and we have a very fresh faced English comedy based on stupidity, desperation and gruesome death.

A stylised horror with added humour and foul language to boot, this is comedy via a witless tribe of incompetents and amateurish plans to make some easy money. A charming story of two brothers (Shearsmith and Serkis) hiding out in a remote cottage, while their kidnapped victims London gangland boss pays off a one hundred thousand pound ransom for feisty daughter Tracey (Jennifer Ellison). Of course, thing do not go according to plan.

Funded by the UK Film Council and Screen Yorkshire this is horror most horrible, set with some fine colouring by cinematographer Christopher Ross (London to Brighton 2006), the Isle of Man and Yorkshire night time countryside has never looked so tense, suspenseful and dangerous. Then there is the wit of the script that takes its own form, with the added help of clueless kidnappers and Oriental thugs this script is the key core that propels the film forward to a festival of comedy and extreme hilarity, mixed with it murders most foul. Even if the outlaying plot does seem a tad familiar, it can be very much forgiven. The Cottage from the start has been given its own blend of ghastly misfortunes, its own characteristics that set it apart from the rest, like a Carry On gone wrong, The Cottage has built its reputation on a backbone of British humour that always hit's the right spot for the right reasons.

While nothing new to report in overall originality The Cottage is well prepared to take the risk of not pampering to the allure of the teenage cinema market, due respect to its bravery in having the 18 certificate upon it. In addition, with this adult tag comes adult humour and extreme adult violence. There is no compromise with what The Cottage holds within its rafters and with the horrors of it all it really does seem a change from the norm and to see fresh meat, and blood, injected and dissected, into a British film as The Cottage is only a step in the right direction for British Cinema, I'm moving in as soon a possible.
7 out of 12 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? | Report this
7/10
Delirium can have qualities
edward sanguinetti24 May 2009
If delirium can have qualities, this movie sure has. What should be appreciated here is the integrity that lies in every minute, in every single shot. There is some philosophical deepness in it, the idiot machine characters playing a script from which they cannot escape. This kind of situation usually makes viewers laugh, as a reaction to the inevitableness of stupidity in life, where intelligence plays no role. The plot may seem crazy and twisted: it is not; every minute builds the next one, in a crescendo which is sustained till the end. Add that it is shot nicely, characters are perfectly chosen for the job, the scenery, should say the furniture has a warm touch, blood floods freely. What more can you ask from a horror comedy?
5 out of 8 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? | Report this
10/10
Great British Horror Flick a Gem!
markhaazen22 February 2015
This is a surprisingly entertaining film. It shows what a bunch of good actors and producers can do on a budget. Nowhere near as gory as some and the plot has been done to death a thousand times but when the gore comes it is really surprisingly well done and will make you jump out of your skin at times. Well worth the money and one to watch more than once. Miss Ellison is a delight. Hilarious Comedy mixed with blood & gore, I think the cast must have had a real job to keep a straight face during filming, especially the scene with David and the bumbling idiot character, Andrew. (re the bottle opener, and the balaclava).... What comedy genius!

THIS FILM TRULY IS A GEM!!
3 out of 4 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? | Report this
8/10
A great film for a night in!
Just_little_Ellie12 March 2008
Warning: Spoilers
As someone who is technically a blood/gore film virgin, I thoroughly enjoyed this. Simple enough story - two warring brothers (Andy Serkis and Reece Shearsmith) kidnap the mouthy, attitude-ridden daughter(Jennifer Ellison) of a dodgy gangster nightclub owner and demand a ransom in order to strike it rich. Her stepbrother (Steven O'Donnell) is also in on the plan. But to their misfortune things take a downward turn when said mouthy daughter (totally unbelievably) escapes and trudges off into the night with Shearsmith's pacifistic character in tow as her own hostage.

The two stumble upon a farmhouse which doubles as the lair for a psychotic killer simply known as "The Farmer". And murder literally ensues from there on and the brothers find themselves thrown back together in a fight for survival.

The gem of this film mainly comes from the character setup which is in full swing the moment Serkis and Shearsmith appear on screen. You're privy to their terse relationship and individual quirks (which are seen visually later in the film and are hysterical!). So later when slash, mangle and chop occurs, you feel it and for them and want them to get out of there alive.

The performances by Andy and Reece are riveting too. Reece sweeps through the film with brilliant comic timing and very detailed characterisation and is simply wonderful. He was the sole reason for me (as a TLoG fan) going to see the film and he did not disappoint me :) Andy is perfect as the hardened and cynical straight man, coming across very volatile and stressed when things go wrong. There is a near homage to "Now, Voyager" - with Reece seeming to light up a cigarette for himself but instead he passes it to Andy before lighting another one. Volumes are spoken about the two brothers in that one moment. The two Chinese hit men are brilliant too and pretty funny - they refer to Reece's character as "one bald f**k" which had me in stitches. In Jennifer's case I thought she was OK the first time round but when I saw it again her character just really got on my nerves and frankly when she is silenced it's a bloody relief! This film is definitely worth seeing - a funny yet touching horror-fest.
6 out of 11 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? | Report this
6/10
The Leatherface Farmer
Claudio Carvalho9 August 2008
When David (Andy Serkis) and his clumsy brother Peter (Reece Shearsmith) kidnap the daughter of a powerful gangster, they bring Tracey (Jennifer Ellison) to a cottage in the countryside in the trunk of their car. Peter calls Tracey's father and asks a ransom of one hundred thousand pound to be delivered to her step-brother Andrew (Steve O'Donnell). When the bag is delivered to the moron Andrew, he does not check the content and is followed to the remote location by two Chinese hit-men hired by Tracey's father. When the abductors discover that the bag has only paper, David drives to a nearby village to make a phone call to demand the money. When he returns, he finds Andrew fainted and later that Tracey had reverted the situation and escaped with his brother as hostage. Meanwhile an insane and deformed farmer has just killed the killers and Tracey and Peter are heading to his farmer seeking a phone to call her father.

I had a great expectation with "The Cottage" but I found it disappointing. The black-humor never works except in the two very last scenes (in the end of the credits there is a last one). The characters Peter and Andrew are stupid and annoying and the psychopath serial-killer is a rip-off of Leatherface. In the end I found this movie only reasonable and my vote is six.

Title (Brazil): "Cabana Macabra" ("Macabre Cottage")
7 out of 14 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? | Report this
8/10
A real laugh
james morgan18 March 2008
Warning: Spoilers
Although it's not the most original plot out there it was still very enjoyable and easy to follow. The chemistry of the actors was superb and they were all convincing characters. Although the script wasn't the best it was still fun to watch and listen to. the gore effects were brilliant and the directing was above average I wasn't sure whilst watching this if it was delibrately parodying films such as Jason seeing as the farmer has a machete, the farmer rips off the fat guy's head and his spine like in predator and i'm sure i've seen somebody be decapitated with a shovel in a film i watched recently. without a doubt i would recommend this film to anybody who wants to have a laugh on a rainy day or have a quiet night in
5 out of 9 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? | Report this
9/10
Classic masterpiece in my mind.
swedishlandlord2 September 2009
Have to disagree with the comment I have read about this film. I loved it. Perhaps this is due to my warped sense of humour, I'm not really sure, thats why I was hoping to find more reviews here.

The best bit about the film is the interaction between the two brothers its brilliantly written and acted and I found it hilarious to watch.

Not knowing anything about the film in advance was great, because I didn't know what genre it was and what to expect. In the end it seem to me to be a mixture of three, comedy, horror and suspense. With the comedy side coming out slightly ahead of the horror.

If you liked films like Shaina of the dead, I think you'll get a kick out of this. Its not your typical Hollywood production either, there are plenty of twists and turns and unexpected surprises.

All in all I found it very entertaining.
4 out of 7 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? | Report this
4/10
Cottage cheese.
BA_Harrison10 April 2009
I had high hopes for The Cottage: word of mouth seemed to be positive; Andy Serkis is a great character actor (although he does seem to pick some right old garbage to appear in); Reece Shearsmith was a member of the brilliant and rather twisted League of Gentlemen; the DVD cover promised lashings of gore and black humour; and Jennifer Ellison looks great with hardly a stitch on.

But boy, was I disappointed! Apart from a solid performance from Serkis (who really should get a better agent) and some decent splatter, this cheesy film fails on nearly every level, with the biggest letdowns being the complete absence of hilarity (I sat stony faced as the cast desperately struggled to wring laughs from the weak and predictable material) and a script with an identity crisis that completely ditches a potentially fun 'kidnap-gone-tits-up' scenario midway in favour of a derivative 'disfigured maniac in the woods' storyline.

To add to the annoyance, Shearsmith is throughly irritating, Ellison swears like trooper (that girl has one hell of a filthy gob on her!) but doesn't get her kit off, and ideas that look like they might actually add something to the story turn out to be a complete waste of time: a group of sinister villagers (including a pointless cameo from Doug 'Pinhead' Bradley) are never seen again, Shearsmith's fear of moths has no real bearing on the plot, and a couple of Asian hit men are disposed of before they can do any real damage.

For me, the highlights of the film are undoubtedly the gory effects, which include a head sliced in half by a spade, a partially severed foot, a pick-axe through the leg, and a disembowelment followed by head and spine removal, but unfortunately, no amount of blood and guts can make up for the movie's general lack of cohesion and inability to raise a smile.

3 out of 10, plus a bonus point for mentioning the Fleet Services on the M3 (where I used to pop in for a lukewarm burger after a late night at work).
4 out of 7 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? | Report this
8/10
better than i expected
elilichtenberg1 June 2008
i am not understanding all the flak this movie is taking. you have a dash of lock, stock and two smoking barrels, a healthy measure of suicide kings and a good sample of Texas chain saw massacre with some sly British wit. the elfmanesque score certainly doesn't hurt. all in all compared to other cross-pollination in the horror genre it was head and shoulders above the rest and would like to see a sequel(and i hate sequels).

in all i think the brits are catching up to the Japanese as far as new approaches to the horror genre and have definitely passed the Americans (hatchet...? please)
4 out of 7 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? | Report this
8/10
This movie was hilarious!
lmt_is_me17 May 2008
Warning: Spoilers
I have never heard of it before but when I saw Andy Serkis's name in it, I knew it would be good. Was it one of the best movies I have even seen? No, but it is a great way to spend 90 minutes.

This movie was quite funny. The interaction between the two brothers was classic sibling rivalry. These guys were a bunch of losers. They can't even plan a kidnapping without arguing. Watching David trying to teach his brother to sound menacing was so funny. Hearing Peter tell the kidnapped his brother's name just about made me fall on the floor! I found this movie entertaining throughout. It had a few gory moments but they added to the story. The music certainly added to the suspense. I would definitely recommend this for a rainy afternoon.
4 out of 7 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? | Report this
An error has occured. Please try again.

See also

Awards | FAQ | User Ratings | External Reviews | Metacritic Reviews